LAST RESORT | JIKOOK ✔️

26. STARGAZING

Jimin hasn't been able to get those three words out of his head, no matter how many times they have played on repeat. Not even while cuddled into Jeongguk's side on the bed in his own apartment.

I love you.

He looks up at him, admiring the soft black lashes of his closed eyes. How they fan such soft yet structured cheeks, that lead to the sweetest pink lips, sitting just below the cutest nose he has quite possibly ever seen.

Yesterday was rough.

As soon as they'd gotten back to Jimin's apartment, Jeongguk had finally given himself permission to break down. The sight had almost been foreign and Jimin took to him immediately, doing what he could to console the amalgamation of unfiltered emotions and thoughts and feelings askew in his head, mind, body.

It was tough because Jeongguk isn't one to let his emotions get the best of him. More frequently, he pushes them deep inside, even if he isn't aware of it. Jimin supposes it's how he was brought about, considering how stoic and cold his father seems to be.

He doesn't even want to think about the mess they're in right now. With Ro-un kissing him, Hoseok saving him from a stranger, Taehyung getting his feelings played with and Jeongguk's father this close to finding out about the both of them.

The potential consequences of something so horrifying to ponder makes him feel upset to his stomach. Quite literally everything could shatter into tiny, irreplaceable and non fixable pieces.

Jimin then feels Jeongguk shift beside him and he's released from his thoughts, meeting the man's eyes. The former frowns subtly at the sight of a small pout, something he has never seen before. He reaches out and brushes Jeongguk's lips.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asks.

Jeongguk shrugs, avoiding the question. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you. I was―"

Jimin places his finger against Jeongguk's mouth. "You already apologized and I forgive you, Hyung. Just relax."

"But I don't forgive myself. You're the best thing that's happened to me and the thought of losing you terrifies me. I wish things could be easy. I wish this could be easy." Jeongguk stares at the ceiling, placing his hands beneath his head. "Some days I feel like I should just tell him."

Jimin's eyes widen slightly and he sits up, looking at Jeongguk. "So much will happen if you tell him. I'm not telling you not to. But what would he say? What would he do if he figured it out? I don't want anything to happen to you. What about the public? They can be so ruthless," he splutters.

Jeongguk looks over at him, reaching out to stroke his fingers against his arm. "Relax, baby. I just put it out there," he says, sitting himself up against the headboard. "Honestly, I don't really know if I could ever really find the guts to. It's one thing I'm not confident about. I can argue with him about anything else. But this? And you... gosh, I want to protect you at all costs but what if I fail at that? My head is spinning."

Jimin frowns, leaning in to place a kiss on Jeongguk's lips. He stays there for a moment, lifting his hand to run his fingers through the latter's hair. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against Jeongguk's.

"I know. And I wish there was something more that I could do to make the spinning stop. You protect me as much as you can and I'm thankful for that. I just don't want to hold you back from a life you could be living." Jimin's face falls quiet just as his eyes fill with sadness. Suddenly his hands are squeezed tightly.

"There's no such thing. I'm in this for the long run, beautiful. We just have to do what we can to make it out in one piece," Jeongguk replies, gripping Jimin by his chin, looking him in his eyes. "Right?"