LAST RESORT | JIKOOK ✔️

37. EASIEST ALTERNATIVE

Jimin has never been good with funerals.

Apart from his well restrained exterior, all of the solemn emotions build up inside, pulling and twisting at his guts. It's easy to portray the feelings of a character that's unphased. But everything unfolds the very moment he's alone.

Nothing makes sitting through the service easier. Not even the fact that Taehyung is sitting next to him while Jeongguk kneels next to Soomin's shrine. Every photo and memory sends Jimin into a deeper state of turmoil. He realizes that despite the conversations they had, he really had no inkling as to what kind of person Soomin was. She seemed kind, headstrong, and self-reliant. Everything that Jeongguk is.

But there's always so much more behind the face you see each time you look at someone. Every individual story is told by the shape of their smile or the narrative flooding their eyes. Someone can be completely different behind the laughter they supply.

"It's almost over," Taehyung whispers in Jimin's ear.

Jimin nods softly, keeping that in mind. He toys with his fingers in his lap, peering over at Jeongguk.

He's a completely different person in front of an audience. Jimin hadn't seen him such a wreck before the past few weeks. And now it's like none of it ever happened. He looks like the poised, adamant man he first met. Nobody could tell he spent his previous days cooped up in an apartment room, unwilling to eat and drink water and bathe.

And for a moment, Jimin is reminded of how similar he is to Jeongguk. He had spent so long making sure that he received the care that he lacked when his parents passed away.

Because he knew what it was like to go through something so unbelievably cruel and harrowing without support.

The desperate longing to just vanish into thin air. The lack of appetite and the thought of eating, with the constant urge to vomit at the mere idea. It was hell. And he wondered why it had to happen to him of all people.

The last visitor bows twice to the departed and once to Jeongguk. Jimin doesn't realize that his eyes are swell with tears until his vision starts to blur. He uses his sleeves, erasing the trails from his cheeks. Taehyung squeezes his shoulder, reminding him that he's still present.

There's only a handful of people. Some are close work friends, Jimin assumes. There are a couple of faces he remembers from being at the company building briefly. And of course, Ro-un and Haeso are here.

Jimin has made it his mission to steer clear of them both. Although they're next to Jeongguk, he only manages to see the latter. His eyes never leave his face, not once. They've all suffered loss, and yet, Jimin can't bring himself to feel sympathy for either of the other two men.

And maybe it's inhumane. But Haeso and Ro-un showed their true colours the second him and Jeongguk were exposed to the media.

"Just ignore them," Taehyung stresses.

"Hm?" Jimin doesn't notice that Haeso and Ro-un are both staring at him until Taehyung speaks up.

Although both men's eyes are so similar, Jimin feels an entirely different intensity, setting him ablaze. It feels like he's being scorched by a spotlight.

"I need a second," Jimin murmurs, stepping away.

The blond ventures out of the room, running his hands down his face. He presses himself against the wall, allowing his tense muscles to relax on contact with the cool palisade.

He feels selfish. Today isn't about him. It hasn't been about him for a few weeks, and yet, somehow, he ends up being the one running, feeling detained by the outright marvel of Jeongguk's brother and father.