LAST RESORT | JIKOOK ✔️

35. NUMB

Lately, the only person Jeongguk has found that he's been able to trust is Jimin. He didn't think he'd find himself sitting in the waiting room of a hospital with security just outside, face buried in his hands. So much has been going on between his father, the company, and the press that everything else aside from that became all but a blur at the very back of his mind. It doesn't take much for him to feed into the voice inside of his head, telling him that all of it is his fault. But the soft touch of a hand against his knee has him gasping for air at the surface, as if he was anchored to the bottom of the ocean.

"Breathe," speaks the soft voice of the blond just to his left, eyes molded into worry and lips visibly chapped from constant nibbling. "I'm right here, okay?" Jimin reminds him.

Jeongguk can't seem to speak without the threat of bile building in his throat. So he nods his head instead, placing his hand on top of Jimin's. But his posture still falters and his gaze droops to the well-maintained flooring beneath his shoes.

Knowing that this was something he could have prevented eats away at him.

"There was nothing you could have done," Jimin murmurs, reaching his hand out to grip Jeongguk's jaw. He levels their faces, holding onto the man's chin softly. "Unless you were involved in the accident, this isn't on you. You weren't in the vehicle that hit her. This isn't your fault, Hyung."

He'll never get used to it. Crying. It makes him feel feeble and vulnerable and easily manipulated by those who view it as a weakness. And yet, in Jimin's embrace, he allows himself to empty all of the pent-up emotions that have been building incessantly. From anger to sadness and frustration and anything and everything in between. His fingers tighten around the blond's jumper.

"How can I live with myself knowing that she got mobbed because of me? Because of what I did? They basically herded her into the street like cattle. They're monsters."

"Exactly. They are the monsters. Not you." Jimin continues to move his hand up and down the plane of Jeongguk's back, stopping at his neck where he massages at the nape tenderly. "I know what you're thinking. You should have had your phone on you at all times. And if you did, you'd be worrying because it was on silent or because you weren't checking it consistently. But you did what you had to do under your own circumstances. Nobody saw this coming. And you can't blame yourself for something you couldn't control. Do you understand?" He encourages Jeongguk to retreat from the crook of his neck.

"Tell me that you understand." Jimin runs each thumb below Jeongguk's eyes, tucking away browns chunks of hair left astray.

"Yeah," Jeongguk replies, shifting in his seat. He tightens the tie around his neck, glancing over at Ro-un.

It doesn't matter how much time they spent together when they were younger, they never got along. It was always a competition and Jeongguk could never understand what he was thinking and to this day, it's just as hard, if not harder. He wonders if he even really knows who his brother is.

"He looks so unphased it's appalling." At Jeongguk's words, Jimin glances over at Ro-un.

The man is leaning against a wall, roughly ten meters away with his arms folded over his chest. He's staring at his phone, thumbs visibly at work dragging across the screen and texting. Jeongguk assumes he's messaging their father but at this rate, he isn't too sure where they stand. He still hasn't seen his father since they've been at the hospital.

"Do you want me to go and beat him up?" Jimin asks while in the process of rolling up his sleeves.

Jeongguk's attention averts from Ro-un to Jimin. He chuckles, shaking his head. "That's something I would pay to see."