BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter SeventyEight- Anderson and Son.

A week had passed since I knew I had to find a way to meet Sirius and Remus again, rather than write. Which I still attempted to do in moments of boredom, trying my best to find the right words. They never seemed to read back in the way they were intended.

I approached the conversation with Sonny. Asking whether he thought I had to write first and arrange meeting them or if I could show up somewhere and see them? He now knew them better than I did, so his insight was important to me.

We both decided that showing up somewhere might cause an unexpected reaction, unless I let them know first. He revealed that the only reason he was so welcoming was because he was expecting to see me and could work through the shock before I arrived. Claiming he'd probably walk straight past me in shock if he met me unexpectedly. Which I understood.

Sonny suggested that he could invite them round his flat for a boys night and reveal that I was now his neighbour. I could simply knock on the door and make an appearance if the thought of seeing me was well received. If the idea wasn't well received, I never had to leave my flat and I never had to reach out. He said he'd deal with the fall out if that were to happen.

It was the simplicity that made it an amazing plan. No faffing around to contact them to arrange something and go through so much anticipation for it.

"I need to invite them round to see the new place anyway. Two birds, one stone and all that." He said to me.

I profusely thanked him for being amazing and again for helping me keep a low profile until I decided I was ready.

I was ready, as ready as I could be. I don't think I'll ever feel completely anxiety free, no matter what way I meet them again. It was a big moment for me. A big decision that felt unpredictable and I hated unpredictability.

I wasn't seeking friendship. I just wanted to see them and say I hope they're both happy. Whether that's together as a couple or not and that I didn't regret ever lingering around their chaos...maybe leaving out the chaos bit.

Knowing I was possibly going to meet them Saturday night was making me restless. The flat was so clean from all the anxious scrubbing to distract my mind, I feared another spray of a cleaning product would comatose me.

I had finished reading Alice in Wonderland and I understood why it was such a muggle classic. It was wonderfully bizarre, fascinating for the imagination to go wild with. But I had finished it and all my chores and now had nothing to preoccupy my mind from racing and worrying about the plans I had encouraged.

It was strange to even think, if they don't want to see me, they were going to be here. Only a floor above me. The distance being so little. I'd probably be able to hear their voices if I listened hard enough and once the noise outside quietens. I had only just got used to seeing Sonny on a regular basis, without walking away with smile ache.

For some reason though, I have a gut feeling that having an aching face from smiling too much won't be an issue when I see Sirius and Remus again. Our relationships were a lot more complicated than the one Sonny and I shared.

It was Friday, four in the afternoon and the weather had been on and off all day. Sunshine one second, grey clouds passing the next. My hands were itchy from cleaning and my legs couldn't stop bouncing or shuffling. I was bored and needed to leave the flat, although I had nothing to do and had been attempting to avoid the rain that kept threatening the timid sky. A summer thunderstorm was supposed to happen between today and next Wednesday. I had nothing to keep me entertained indoors if that turns out to be true.

I glanced over at my bare shelf close to my living room window. Two children's storybooks and a small fern that I bought a few days ago. I didn't have many possessions and so the flat looked almost bare. I needed to fill that shelf with books and not just children's ones; though the leather-bound cover of Alice in wonderland from that small bookshop did look lovely and almost could be pulled off as decorative.