BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter FortySix- Back To School.

Finally it was Sunday, and I was quite excited to see James again...surprisingly.

Last night I replied to his letter he left for me. Not saying much but telling him I appreciated the letter and it made me smile. Though I didn't go into much detail, I was happy I'd be able to thank him for his thoughtfulness in person soon.

I was also quite excited to have the girls back in the dorm again. Adjusting to the silence and emptiness of the room, considering how large it is just for one person, was tough and I'm happy to welcome Marlene's soft snores , Lily's mumbling and Alice's early mornings back into my routine.

I was quite worried to see Remus again though...anxiety high at the thought due to how we left things off.

I didn't hate him, I hope he knew that. Equally, I could already feel how difficult it's going to be to face him this evening, when everyone starts arriving back to Hogwarts. I haven't got a clue how I'm going to approach the situation.

"What's on your mind?" Sonny mumbled while he was focusing on tying both of my shoes together by their laces. Hair dangling over his face as he was hunched over with concentration.

We were both sat on the grounds. In the middle of the large field, near Hagrid's hut.

Hagrid's a sweet half giant of a young man, he stays out of peoples way and tends the Hogwarts grounds. If it wasn't for his large bone structure, you'd never see him. Though he was as tall as the dorm door frames, he made as much noise as a mouse.

The day was relatively warm for November, though my scarf was still securely wrapped around my neck.

The wind was soft, birds chirped in the trees and my fingers wiggled between the green grass, occasionally pulling blades out and blowing them towards Sonny. Seeing how much grass I could get caught in his hair before he would notice and brush it off, only for me to start over again.

"Everyone comes back today." I responded. He had obviously noticed I had gone quieter with thought. He hummed in response.

"You don't want them to?" He asked, looking up at me. A bunch of grass falling off the top of his head finally. He playfully glared at me.

"Yeah I do but...this will change won't it. What will the other Slytherins say to you being friends with me? Artemis Black, Bella's and Cissy's disappointment of a sister and Sonny Wildwood, friends? The shock of it!" I joked around but I was the one to look away and down this time.

"Screw what the other Slytherins say. Most of them won't care, I'm sure more exciting gossip will have accumulated over half term. Sorry to disappoint love, but you're old news!" He laughed with a cheeky wink trying to lighten the mood.

I tried to laugh but actually felt a little disheartened at the idea of this being the last time hanging out with Sonny, without anyone judging or interrupting. Which despite what he was saying, will most definitely happen.

"Hey look, I see absolutely no point sticking around in any form of relationship I don't enjoy. I wouldn't have continued speaking to you in the first place if I just was going to ditch you once my friends come back, if that's what you're worried about?" He said reassuringly.

"I don't want to pull you away from your friends though." I said.

"Your friends come back too. We just have to find reasons to hang out with each other...like dates?" He smirked.

I playfully kicked him, as he was sat at the end of my outstretched legs. He went back to knotting my shoelaces horrendously, a smirk still plastered on his face at himself.

REMUS' POV.
I closed my luggage and sat at the end of my bed, letting out a big sigh of relief.

I was going back to Hogwarts, finally.

Though I loved being home, it never felt great when it landed on a full moon. The half term had been full of nothing but arguments and a whole bunch of stress in general. All revolving around me and my condition.

It felt like such a big weight off of my shoulder to know I'll be in the company of friends again.

I couldn't wait to see Lily and couldn't wait to get annoyed by James and Peter as soon as I see them, though I won't be telling them that.

The thought of seeing Sirius after he was invited into my room by my Mum (trying to play Cupid) surprisingly didn't worry me. I had presumed it might've.

We both discussed where we were in our friendship and that it was nothing more than that. I felt lighter knowing I had experienced such intimacy in a confusing moment in my life with Sirius and I'm glad it was him and wasn't one of the other boys that helped me realise who I was.

I wrote to him the day after, telling him how proud I was that he felt able to come out to me (for the second time) about being gay. I told him how lucky some other guy would be to be able to call Sirius his boyfriend and how handsome he is. We both agreed that though perhaps in some other timeline we'd be great together, we had just been too close of friends for far too long to transition into anything else other than just friends.

I'm glad my first kiss with a boy was with Sirius. I wouldn't have had it any other way but I'm relieved and excited to go back to Hogwarts with a clear mind and back to something I'm familiar with. To have him close and not feel that ball of anxiety forming in my stomach. A ball of denial when it came to myself and my sexuality.

Though I still wasn't one hundred percent at peace with the fact I had discovered I'm bisexual...I could feel myself day by day become more accepting towards it.

That same sense of clarity didn't transfer when it came to the idea of seeing Arty again. James hadn't told me if she had replied to the letter I suggested he should write, which didn't seem like a positive sign.

Guilt fogged my mind every time I thought about her alone in the castle. I thought about writing to her multiple times but decided against it. I didn't want to stress her out when she had no one around her to vent to. I didn't think apologising on paper was the best move to make, it felt insincere.

I wondered what she had been doing with her time. Had she slept through her days or rearranged her belongings an excessive amount of times? Had she locked herself away in the library to seek a comfortable silence instead of a lonely one?

I wish I could have stayed behind with her; I would have if it wasn't for the full moon and knowing I'd be bed bound for a day or two.

She probably wouldn't have wanted me to though, sick of seeing my face or listening to my dull words. Maybe it was nice to have a break and to experience some silence from everyone.

"Do you think you can manage travelling by the Floo Network, sweetie?" Mum came into my room to ask.

"Yeah I'm feeling alright enough." I smiled at her, stretching my still aching muscles.

"You received this from James in the post. I'm not sure what couldn't wait a few hours but...it's a howler." She laughed and handed me the howler, before closing my bedroom door behind her.

I stared down at the soon to be screaming letter. Mum had a point, what was so important that he couldn't wait?

Hesitantly I peeled the letter open. It flew up into the air in front of me, shaping into an origami mouth.

"SHE REPLIED TO THE LETTER! SHES LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING US ALL. STOP STRESSING, I KNOW YOU ARE AND IF YOU DONT MAKE A BLOODY MOVE ON HER, I'LL SHAVE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!" James' voice boomed through the letter before it tore itself to shreds.

A smile found itself onto my face.

I was ready to go back to Hogwarts and finally, I was ready to face Arty and make things right.

(Filler chapter, I know nothing interesting happened. I promise though, things are only just beginning...after forty so chapters lmao)