BLACK MOON ⍋ Remus Lupin

Chapter 126- A Trip Away.

"I want to take you away." Remus said entering our bedroom, after his phone call with Sirius.

"Huh?" I replied.

"There's so much happening right now that I think we should just...go somewhere." He shrugged.

"You want to go on a holiday at a time like this?" I asked a bit confused.

"Sirius is going to stay with Lily and James. They've both staying at home for Harry, and Sirius will only tolerate being around James." Remus said.

"They're going to babysit Sirius? With a newborn?" I raised my eyebrows.

"They're going to simply watch Sirius and get him to help with the newborn. It'll give him something to focus on and we'll all know he's safe." Remus replied.

I suppose it made sense. Sirius loved baby Harry, he tried to hold him whenever possible. Perhaps giving him some responsibilities around looking after the baby boy (with supervision, of course) would allow his mind to switch off from the obsessive thoughts that were bound to destroy his life and maybe others lives, too.

I just couldn't get over the look in his eyes. He felt dangerous to me. A side of Sirius that stemmed directly from his parents. His grief channelled them both in a way I had never expected to see. The paranoia burning into his eyes and itching his skin, just like his Mothers. The calculated and condensed anger in his sharp movements and forceful beliefs, just like his Fathers.

Sirius scared me. He felt on the brink of insanity. Becoming completely deranged by some warped, twisted idea that he was going to become a hero for Regulus; tear down an entire network of criminals and be untouched in the process...and if he died? So be it. There was not a single ounce of fear or hesitation when I proposed the very plausible possibility of death.

A sane man fears death, even if there's acceptance towards it.

"And they trust him around their baby?" I asked Remus. He gave me an odd look.

"Sirius wouldn't ever hurt a baby." Remus said almost shocked I would suggest such a thing.

"I don't think Sirius is quite himself at the moment, is all I'm saying." I shrugged.

Remus sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Arty, let's just trust that Lily and James will have him under control. Sirius will be cooked for, won't be alone and most importantly- distracted." Remus listed.

Maybe a part of my brain was trying to keep myself safe. Detach from the Sirius I loved and knew very well, Remus didn't see the unkept man in front of me earlier on. The one who shoved me to the ground due to his own delusions. James and Lily weren't professionals, they weren't a certified rehab and baby Harry didn't need to be around someone who was so close to the edge.

Remus could see that I wasn't too thrilled and wasn't too convinced about going away either. I simply couldn't see the point. I wasn't going to have fun anywhere. I am and will be tired.

"Arty," Remus said, crouching down in front of the bed I was sat on.
"I'd like to go away for the weekend with you. You deserve somewhere peaceful."

I just rested my head in my hands. I didn't want to leave this tiny house ever again. Sirius had shaken me to my core, and not just because I couldn't recognise the joy that once danced around his aura but because he had a point; Regulus wouldn't go past the edge of a lake, if he had any choice in the decision.

Of course I knew his death couldn't have been natural. He was the youngest out of all of us, in great health and very intelligent. Unless that drastically changed in the matter of two years, the Regulus we knew wouldn't have been so reckless. He had a fear of water, it wasn't just that he couldn't swim; he had no desire to learn, he panicked when he couldn't touch the ground or see beneath him and Sirius was right, he took the quickest showers as a teenager because he couldn't stand being wet for too long.

When I was locked in my room, I always knew when it was Regulus washing in the bathroom next door or if it was his Mother. His mother would soak in the bath for hours, you'd often hear her violently scrub at her skin with a scratchy sponge. Regulus would be completely showered in the space of a short song, as if he was actively trying to conserve water and would never have a bath, once he reached the age to bathe himself. Strictly fast showers.

I hadn't given it any thought.

Yet Sirius made sense, despite his delusions that Regulus was of sound mind. He couldn't have been if he joined such a cult.

I felt so scared because I knew there was truth in the mania that had infected Sirius. Regulus was murdered, he had to be and I didn't want Sirius to meet a similar fate.

"I just don't see the point of leaving right now." I said honestly. Removing my head from my hands to see Remus was still crouched beside me.

"The point is, if you're serious about wanting to get married- I want to ask you properly, not at our dining table and not without celebration." He said softly.

I was taken aback. Almost tearful.

"I'm always going to look after you, Arty and right now you deserve to be somewhere quiet. Somewhere you can think and focus on yourself and somewhere time is ours." Remus said

I nodded.

"That sounds nice." I said honestly, space from the world sounded healing.

"I'll get everything sorted then." Remus smiled a little, getting up from his spot and beginning to head off downstairs.

Before he completely left he popped his head round the corner, his hair bouncing a little as he did.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too."