Jim Lake Jr. x reader || Daylight

Ch. 34: The Oath...

Meditating had become a norm in my schedule. It was reassurance that Morgana was out, still out, and I was the only one in my thoughts. With Arggghhh gone, being captured not too long ago, I could barely keep my breaths even. Along, with Blinky's brother, Dictatious, a blind troll who had caused us unwanted trouble, like always, but he was good now, I think? Besides the point, with him now more in our lives now, I caught my mind making circles around my thoughts. I could never focus.

"Lady (Y/n), you must allow yourself to heal. You had an ancient being inside of you and went straight back into your normal routine as if nothing had happened, that's not healthy. I'm sure your mind is only trying to catch up." Blinky's words gave me little assurance but I could only smile at his attempt, his wording always on point.

"I don't know -- I just feel like -- I just feel like I'm not doing enough." Blinky seemed surprised, giving me a hearty chuckle.

"You have been through more than anyone could ever imagine, Lady (Y/n). You are one of the strongest women I know. The terrors you've seen are more than enough." He rested all three of his right-side arms on my back, giving me a gentle pat as I shook my head silently.

"I'm always the victim, Binky. Always in need of saving. I'm always being used as a weapon against Jim or being taken because a certain foe can't get over their past and I'm the key to solving it -- whatever the hell that means." I roughly press my palms to my eyelids, in an attempt to rub away the guilt that was making my head tense.

Blinky stayed silent for a moment, giving my answer of what he thought. I of course didn't want to stress him any more, knowing he's had a lot on his plate ever since "Merlin" had popped up on our agenda, the only reason why he was such a hot topic this week was being that we needed to find his tomb, all in order to find his staff, which IN ALL would assist us in defeating Gunmar and I swear anything else that came at us.

As I got up to head to bed, I stopped at the top of the stairs, Jim's voice causing my hesitation.

"How's she doing? She hasn't talked to me about how she feels since the other night with her parents, and, I don't know what to do." I bit on my bottom lip as I eavesdropped, sitting down quietly as Blinky prepared to speak.

"I believe she is overwhelmed, Master Jim. For a long time, I think she's been lying to herself. She's been telling herself she can handle all of this, that it doesn't bother her, everything's that's happened and is to come. She's lied to us, putting up with things no young lady should ever even be told to do. She is strong-willed, smart, and brave, you and I know this. But, at the moment, she is weak. Magic seems to be -- magic seems to be breaking her." I buried my head into my knees as the silence that filled the room broke my heart.

Was magic really the thing that was making me snap? Were my never-ending thoughts and new arrival of nervous ticks all because I was overwhelming myself with magic? I've always had anxiety...but this felt so different...I was just tired of not being able to stop anything...to help, permanently.

I sat up and thwacked my forehead, rubbing at my eyes once more. I needed to stop thinking so negatively. This would all work out. It'll all be fine. It'll all be okay...

My attempt at clearing my head didn't do much as I laid down, forcing my eyes to remain shut, hoping I'd have a goodnight's sleep.

But, to no avail.

I fell asleep, I remember slowly drifting off and it was a peaceful silence for a moment. But, the black faded into a blinding red and orange. Fire, and -- and a hand. A gold hand that no longer was attached to its owner, the thought making me sick. Similar to a silent film, I watched a pair of hands that weren't my own work, work on something I felt drawn to instantly — that gut feeling.

I watched metal plates and gears mold into one another, me watching the very thing that made me Destined to be made, the process slow, and painful.

With a start, I sat up from my sleep, mumbling, "Merlin --"

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"You -- you want me to somehow recombine our amulets and break them -- because your dream said the map to Merlin's tomb in our amulets?" Jim repeated everything I had just said, me nodding to confirm my wild request.

"It was a dream, though. What happens if it was wrong and we break the amulets for nothing?" Tobey made a good point, but, I shook my head firmly.

"I can feel it. It was Merlin. I think he was trying to let me know, to help us find him. The only downside would be like Tobey said, with the amulets smashed, neither Jim nor I would be able to suit up." I explained, knowing my plan had some huge risks.

Dictatious was the first one quickly agree with me. "Yes, yes, the girl had a point! The amulet and the staff are both powered by Merlin's magic, it's all connected!"

"I think with (Y/n) able to make a portal to Arrrggghhh, we save him first, then, make sure Gunmar can't get his hands on the staff." Everyone nodded to Jim's plan, him making it sound so simple but we all were already preparing ourselves for what was to come.

Everyone packed everything they thought they would need, me putting on an oversized crewneck, my lock sleeves rolling past my wrists as I tied my shoes. I tucked my amulet into the back of my pocket, not yet needing to break.

"Ready?" Jim had slid on a new jacket, his now crisp jeans practically shining compared to his usual dirtied and bashed up ones.

"Er -- yeah. I'm just trying to get a feel for how I opened my portals last time." I admitted while scratching the back of my hand sheepishly.

Jim smiled tenderly, "That's good, but, I meant are you ready for all of this? This is going to be different than our last missions."

I cleared the strand of white hair that always seemed to find its way into my eyes, almost like an annoying reminder. I gave him a nod, "I guess. All I know is that we're going to save Arrrgggghhh no matter what and -- and it'll all work out." I convinced myself, Jim giving me a sure nod as we walked out to the backyard.

I stood in front of everyone, not even sure where to start. I held out my hands awkwardly, remembering how last time it was so natural, all filled with adrenaline, but now was not that moment.

Everyone was quiet and waiting, making it more nerve-wracking. I wriggled my fingers, thinking about how much Arrggghhhh needed us, and how we needed him back. How this was all a mess but if I could make this bloody portal, it'd make it all that much easier. How maybe after the mission Jim and I could get ice cream, maybe? That was so irrelevant and selfish but...the idea caused a spark of magic to slip from my hands.

The feeling came back. The odd scary feeling of magic. It was consuming, powerful, and now in full presence over my entire body. With a hard flick of my wrists, a dark purple shaded with a mixture of blues portal appeared in front of us.

"I knew you could do it," Jim said while tucking back a new strand of white hair behind my ear.

When we got to Arrrggghhhh, it was simple to get him out with my portals behaving themselves and actually showing up on command, it was the moment that Jim and I had to break our amulets.

"Together?" Jim held out his hand as he reached for Tobey's hammer, the one thing we both knew that would surely break the amulets.

I got a flashback of one of the first things Jim and I had done together, the judging with Vendel when we had first been chosen, just as scared then as we were now.

"Together." I held onto his hand as we both swung down, our amulets gears and metal guard smashing, all except for the bases, the blue and purple whisp magic joining to be one once more.

We entered our amulets into the map that would lead us to the staff...but if I had known what would happen...what would go down in our fight...I would've never left. Now sitting in an unstable shaking tavern, the light blue glow it gave off made me feel sick, and silent tears fell.

Draal -- Draal was gone. Draal was gone. Draal was gone...

Gunmar -- he had the staff. We failed and now -- now he had that staff!

I wiped away my eyes, pounding against the crystal in pure rage, my magic seeming to disappear from the situation.