Back to Him

Chapter 50- Revelations

I walk around the bar with zero aim chugging down shots by shots offered by strangers in exchange for dances.
,without anyone to take care of me here, unprotected.

Just like how they left me.

Fucking assho-

Like I said, hot, scorching red, burning anger. That's how I feel right now. Like I want to rip out my skin and hair and everything and just scream my lungs out until I lose my voice.

He called me a slut? A fucking slut? To his own daughter? Accused me of not being enough for someone? How could someone hate his own blood so much? How could they never share even an ounce of affection for me?

A man winked at me raking his eyes over my attire which to be honest, was less of an attire. My purple dress clung to me like a second skin m, way too short and having a deep neckline. Not my usual scenario but who the fuck cares? As if my life isn't this close to getting destroyed.

I'm currently homeless, with little amount of money and no education degree. Great. All because of- I gulped as I revisited them in my head- them.

Where are you, brother? Joe? Ella? Where the fuck are you guys? And that goddamn fucking note! What did you guys even mean by moving on with my life? Like it's perfectly right to ghost me all of a sudden? Where are you? What didn't you let me come with you?

Immediately, my breath shortened as reflexively, my fingers went up, touching the necklace on my neck. It always soothes me. Keeps me at calm. All because it was gifted to me by- oh god-by Ryan.

Ryan. Ryan. Ryan.

Tears started leaking automatically as I failed to remove him out of my memory. A sad whimper let out of my lips. I need you, Ryan. Please come back. Please tell me this is a joke. I don't want that dress, I want you.

I love him so much, so much, it hurts right here, between my breasts.

Immediately, a hand shot up in front of me as I looked at the owner. Josh, with his creepy eyes and wierd mouth smiled at me. Immediately, I straightened up. I noticed Tyler and Dakota too, on my other side blocking every scene of the party from my eyes.

I don't know why, but something never felt right with the three of them. I get it, they were his friends, but I never felt comfortable under their scrutinizing gazes. Ryan knows about how I feel, he tried to reason me out but then respected my opinion and he makes sure I never cross paths with them except the football games. But today, these three are the painful living reminder of him. I closed my eyes slowly. Please be good to me, today. I can't handle any more shit.

Dakota passed up a shot in front of me and gave me a sad smile. "We are truly sorry for you, Rose. We miss him too. " I widened my gaze. Do they know where he is?

"Did Ryan tell you anything about where he was going? I- I don't know what's up with him and everyone, where are they? How long till they come back? "
All three of them gave pitiful glances at my flustered reaction and blotched face. Of course I am depressed, my boyfriend and my family left me all of sudden in a shady way and my parents kicked me out of the house calling me slut. I am broke, uneducated, homeless, taking refuge in one of my close friend's house, but even that won't last long because her parents don't like my presence. And I fucking don't know where to go. Whom to reach out.

"Rose darling, " I could here the hesitating english accent rolling off, " We don't know anything for sure. He messaged us saying he won't be coming back here ever. Maybe he eloped somewhere? Ryan has always been like this, taking off when he wants too. "