Back to Him

Chapter 33- It Girl

Hey!

Listen to 'Don't call me up' by Mabel.

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" Fucking fuckers! How dare you fucking fuck with  me? Fuckers, get the fuck out of my fucking sight!"

Oh god, save my sanity.

I looked at Kate with baffled expression while she was throwing chocolate truffles leftovers on some College guys who were trying to scatter away from us as if their pants were on fire.

I feel bad for those truffles.

So, after the whole crazy Sylvain incident, the girls came to my room and we had a night out where they bitched about her and did everything they could to make me feel better.
That included teen wolf, nutella and Dylan O'Brien.Honestly, I love them so much, they are always heartwarming and sunshines of happiness in my monotonous life.

After they went, Noah and the guys came and I laughed and hang out a bit
with them ( much to Ryan's dismay) and he hugged me good bye (Ryan made a disgusting face at him-so mature i swear) and left. I guess they all felt bad for what happened and were surely angry on Sylvain because they were talking about how we should remove her from our mansion.

I would literally kiss the floor if it happened.

After some days, the girls thought about having a shopping spree to release some stress and have a day for ourselves. Normally i would hate it, but Even I needed some clothes so I tagged along.

So here I am in the lingerie section with Kate because of her doe threatening eyes that had a look that she would kill me if I denied. Other girls immediately ran off into another section , even Ella.

Such a traitor.

"Rose honey, gosh try this black lingerie. My imagination says it would look damn sexy on you." Kate shouted from under her pile of clothes.

I grudgingly trudged towards her and snatched it forcefully into the trial room. Once I wore it, I turned towards the mirror and looked at my exposed skin. And my eyes we're set on the things that I hate the most in the world.

Those long scars.

There were some scars on the inside of my thigh due to which I avoid wearing shorts, there were some on my upper chest trailing from the valley of my breasts to the side on my left breast down towards my abdomen. There were lines lingered everywhere on my body and for a second, just for a second, I felt bad for the pain my body had to endure. I felt bad for the agony it had to face. But i did not feel any pity for myself, my soul. Because some part of my mind was telling me something haunted.

Telling me that I deserved all of this.

This pain.

This endurance.

These scars.

This disgusting body which even I can't stand looking at sometimes.

I don't even know why I am buying some lingeries because it is of no worth. I won't even look at myself in these sexy clothes.

They say your pain lessens with time as you look at the brighter things in life. They are wrong. Your distractions help you forget it for a short time, but when it's over, the memories come again rushing in the form of thunderstorm that hit you the hardest.

I try to forget everything, I swear I do. But I don't think I want to forget that incident because it is a very huge part of my life and it has changed me drastically. Surely it has made me defeated but at the same time it has given me strength. Though I have lost myself, but at the same time, I found the better version of myself. That version which is completely different from the old and naive me. And I think it has given me the lesson of life for which I am forever grateful.