54 - Please understand

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TRIGGER WARNINGS:
EXPLICIT LANGUAGE
SWEARING
GUN VIOLENCE
SMOKING

TRIGGER WARNINGS:EXPLICIT LANGUAGE SWEARING GUN VIOLENCE SMOKING

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"Enzo." Lira suddenly said in a serious tone. I snapped my thoughts away in an instant and focused back on reality. I looked at her to see her gazing at me attentively. "There's something that's been on my mind lately and I need to say it...I when..when the baby's born and if it's a matter of saving my life or the baby's, please choose our little monster." She gulped a hard lump.

I shook my head in denial. I couldn't have this conversation. She grabbed onto my hands, holding them both, making me listen. "Enzo please. Please promise me." She begged, her eyes begged me. I gulped, my lips wobbling. "I can't do that. I can't promise you that. I'd die without you."

Her face was a cool mask as she tired to hold it together but a tear spilled out of her eye, landing on the back of my hand. "I know. I know." She choked. "But I wouldn't be able to live knowing that our baby died just so I could live. So I need you to promise me because you'll be okay without me." She pulled her lips together tightly as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

My own eyes began to go blurry and my chest tightened. She needed to be reassured and besides she would be fine. Nothing would happen. She would give birth and I'd have both her and our baby by my side. I reached up with my hand and cupped her cheek, rubbing her tears away with the pad of my thumb. "I promise." The words pained me but she was crying. And I could never watch her cry.

I couldn't ever imagine life without her. I couldn't. How would I even raise our baby when I was missing her every single second of every single day. She smiled softly as if she knew that, as if she too would be as broken. You'll be okay without me. Little did she know that I would follow her to the ends of the earth itself.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the clinic, her now being in a happier mood, her cheeks being slightly flushed. I was also a bit more happier, even though now my mind was plagued with what I had promised her. I needed to speak to mom about it. She'd understand. She'd hold me as I sobbed my fucking heart out.

We both stepped into the clinic, hands joined, just in time for her appointment. The calmness of the place filled my lungs and we sat in the little waiting area once she spoke to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry. I'm so shitty." She chewed the corner of her mouth, her hands smoothing her dress down over her knees. "Shut up. You're not shitty. And don't apologise for telling me how you feel. I love you." I nudged her shoulder with mine. She chuckled and sniffled.

Her name was called and we followed the older doctor to a room. Lira was asked to lay down onto the little raised bed and I sat on one of the two cushioned chairs beside her. The doctor greeted us and explained the scan. She also frowned at Lira's choice of clothing and left to find a blanket to cover her modesty. Not that Lira seemed to care or mind.

When the doctor had returned, a white blanket in hand, she set it down and began to jot down some notes.

Suddenly, the door behind me banged open, shocking me, making me grab for my gun still tied to my belt. "Oh fuck." I breathed. My nerves were already shattered, my heart pounded away high on adrenaline. I needed a drink. Turning towards Lira, her eyes were wide, not with fear but with sheer confusion. Admir and Asim burst into the room, with Admir looking down at Lira with deeply furrowed brows.

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