Starlight of a Moonbeam

Words In Captivity, Five - Age 20 (Elena POV)

AN:
I'm back with another chapter!!
Happy friday everyone and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Elena POV:

I stand in the shadows of an alleyway, hidden in the darkness. I stand there and do nothing but watch, watch him live out his life as if I had never existed in it at all.

Coen stands at a table inside the kitchen of the bakery. On the table sits a beautiful four-tiered cake, decorated with evergreen sprigs and mountain lilies. His hands are steady and calm as he works, shaping the cream into swirls and patterns more beautiful than any embroidery or lace work. Coen works silently, lost in his own work. And I smile for him.

I'm happy that he's finally doing what he's always wanted to do. It never mattered to me that his dreams were simpler than others. Coen's dream was humble and full of peace, and for a time I could see myself sitting at that table with him, watching as he worked.

I loved him. I know I did. And I know some part of me will always care for him. He's too big of a part of my childhood not to matter or forget. No matter how things ended, how he gave up on me, on us.

I can still see what our lives would have been like, how simple and perfect it could have been. But no matter how lovely that dream was, it was only a dream. I'm not meant to live a simple and perfect life. My life is messy and complicated, and not often lovely. I was always meant to be with someone else, someone just as messy and complicated as I am.

I watch as Coen takes a handful of lilies and gently places them in a wave-like pattern.

Coen was my first love – my childhood love. But childhoods end and people grow up different from how they once were.

I am not the same young fae girl who fell in love with the baker's son. I am someone else now. And who I am, who I always was I suppose, is meant to love a male who's inside the castle.

Somehow, I know I could love Fenrys if I tried, if I let myself feel that way. It wouldn't be hard to give in to my instincts, to let the mating bond take control and sweep me away into something some fae can only dream of. I suppose I should be grateful to have found my mate. I think I could be grateful to... if I tried.

But I feel trapped. I feel cornered. Because I know that if I tell him that I don't want the bond I will never truly be able to be happy with anyone else. The same would go for him as well, and I don't know if I could deny him the happiness of being with his mate. Still... I don't feel happy yet.

I realize that the reason he hasn't told me all this time was to delay this feeling I am feeling now for as long as possible, to prevent me from feeling trapped or forced into, as my father said, a bond forced too early. I am grateful to him for that at least.

I turn my head to look at the castle in the distance.

I could go back and forgive him. I could give in and let myself be happy with my mate. Or I could go back and punch him again. I could even tell him that I never want to see him again.

I think back to the way he kissed me and how out of control I felt. I don't want to feel out of control like that again.

Turning my head back to the window of the kitchen bakery, I look back at Coen.

"Where have the children gone?" I whisper near silently.

I know where they went. They grew up. They are still here and yet not – replaced by us who still stand here.

Turning around, I leave the bakery window and the person in it behind me. I keep to the shadows as I head back to the castle, back to my mate, and to the future I was always meant to have.