Starlight of a Moonbeam

Shifted Souls, One - Age 9 (Fenrys POV)

AN:
First off I just want to thank you all soo much for the 800 reads!!!

This is soo exciting that so many people like this! I'm really glad that you guys enjoy reading it since I have such a fun time writing it out! I can't want for their relationship to get more...interesting...

🤗😎😂

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Shifting. Reaching through your inner veil to your animal form. All fae have one. And once mastered the abilities of your other form becomes a part of you. No longer separate, but a double edge, a harmony, a reflection.

Con and I learned to shift when we were very young, but I can still remember the first time I shifted to my wolf body. The new power and strength that I felt, the doorway to a new world, is a feeling and memory that I could never forget, no matter how many years have gone by since that day long ago.

I shifted first, plunging into my white wolf form before Con found his matching black, but it was just as exciting if not more, to have the same form as Con. Twins, that's what we were. What I lost. And will never be again.

I still can feel the ache as his sturdy hands gripped my forearms, still see the look of desperation in his eyes.

"Please. Please Fenrys, I'm begging you. Don't do anything stupid. Use your head! Think! Behave. Please!"

That was the last day I saw him before Aelin was taken captive. The last time I talked to him. Really talked to him. Not bound by my blood oath, so we could only speak in wolf tongue. Not chained to the floor as my brother stabbed himself in the heart. Not forced to serve that Valg bitch in the pool of my twins still hot blood.

"You brought this upon yourself. Your arrogance, your unchecked recklessness-was this what you wanted? You couldn't let me have this-any part of this for myself. You took the blood oath not to serve out queen, but so you couldn't be bested by me for once in your life."

I'd never seen the kind of hatred in his eyes that was centered in his eyes. The way he looked at me with utter loathing and disgust. He hated me.

"You are a disgrace to our family, to this kingdom. You whored yourself to a foreign queen, and for what? I begged you to control yourself when you were sent to hunt Lorcan. I begged you to be smart. You might as well have spat in my face."

I'd had to do a lot of horrible things that Maeve put me through. Memories of the blackest night still remain deep within me. Memories that I don't think I'll ever bring to the light again. But hunting Lorcan was one of the worse things she ever put me through. Being so far from her, but still tethered by Connall. Just being in Adarlan was bad enough but having to work with Rowan, Aelin and her court was really what pushed me over the edge.

For the first time in my life, I knew what I was to be free. Not physically but mentally. Doing the things that my fae male instincts screamed at me to be doing. It was like breathing fresh air after centuries of being caged underground.

"Leave? Why would I ever want to leave? And for what? That? He pointed a finger at Aelin: torn bleeding, kneeling in that damned circle of glass. "No, Fenrys, I will not leave. And neither will you."

He was right in many ways:

I've never left. Not really. And I never will.

I did bring this upon myself, I see it now. How stupid and careless I was. Every arrogant comment, every reckless decision I made lead me down the road to Connall's grave.

Never in whatever time, I'll have before the end of my immortal life, will I forget the shattering in my chest as Connall plunged the dagger into his own heart. The way his hands shook with the command of Maeve's blood oath. The fall of his knees to the floor. The river of red hot blood. The light that went out of his eyes. The death of my twin.