I Wanna Be.

Part 14

Every day was a struggle for me. I couldn't help but cry every time I looked at my son. You can see he was feeling better, but his cries were still embedded in my mind. At this moment I was feeling useless. I couldn't protect my son, I hated to admit it but I was feeling like less and less of a mother. I was walking from the cafeteria and saw my mother and father walking in. Rome was still sitting in the lobby. He had been to the hospital every day since Prince had been here, acting as if he cared. It was making me sick, I wished I could make him disappear, but I didn't have the power to do that. I hated his guts and just looking at him disgusted me. It was crazy because never in a million years would I have thought I would feel that way about him, even after everything he put me through.

I walk into Prince's hospital room behind my mother and father. We said good morning and the look on my mother's face let me know she was about to get on my nerves.

"Mani Listen I know you're mad, but I think you going overboard."

I turned around so fast I could have caught whiplash. I'm more than mad, I'm furious, you know I'm mad? Nah you don't know how I'm feeling.

"That may be true but still that is the father of your child."

I had to turn and face the wall. I let out a deep breath to keep myself from going the fuck off. I started to count, not to any specific number. But before I got to eight she started talking again.

"Mani, do the right thing and let that man see his son. I raised you better than that."

You raised me better than that. I turned quickly in her direction. Nah you raised me to be a fucking coward. Every time I came home telling you that someone was picking on me, what was your reply. I gave her a few seconds to answer. Oh no, don't get quiet now, WHAT WAS YOUR REPLY! My father hopped out of the chair.

"Don't you dare raise your voice at your mother, the fuck is wrong with you, he said."

No, what the fuck is wrong with y'all, you know what your reply was I turned back and faced my mother. Oh, it's okay just ignore them, not stand up and fight for myself. So my son laying in that bed is because I ignored all the shit that's been going on since I got there. My father is a fucking cop for Christ's sake and all you telling me to do is ignore everything. You can't stand up to him and made me weak like you. My dad walked up to me and slapped me across my face.

" I said to watch how you talk to your mother."

I grabbed onto my face for a min, then I snapped. GET THE FUCK OUT, GET.THE. FUCK. OUT!..... The hot tears ran down my cheek and at this moment I didn't care about shit. Either you were with me or against me. They left out the room and I wish they went home cause I no longer wanted to see their face. They gonna get the same treatment that Rome got.

Prince had awakened for a min, I washed him off, and then nurses came in and changed his bandages. He was still in a little bit of pain. His cries turned into more of a whine. He would always reach out and try to grab for the bruise on his back, you can tell he could still feel it. Shortly after entertaining him and trying to keep his mind off of everything he was fast asleep. I walked to the nurse's station and peeked in the lobby, my mother had been there, and so was Rome. I guess he let Dre handle business in the meantime or something, cause he had too much time on his hand. I turn back toward the nurse's station when one of them asks if I needed anything. I asked the nurse who usually changed his bandages can she keep an eye on him so I could go home to take a bath, and get some clothing she agreed. I was mad at my mom but I was relieved that she was still there. I knew she would keep an eye on him too. That was just the type of person she was.