Eli Borrelli

28: No more tears in heaven

Diego POV.

Eli had finally managed to tell their brothers about what happened to them, which was better than I would ever get. Whenever they published a new song, I went over the lyrics which meant, I knew some things, but I also knew, Eli would never tell me everything that had happened to them. I don't think they ever even told Carlos, so them opening up to their brothers even a little bit was a miracle.

I would be lying if I said I hadn't been scared to meet them, but they seemed alright. They cared about Eli a lot, which was basically all I needed. Also, Gabriele was really cool. He showed me the proper ways to use oil paint, which was amazing. He told me, I could use anything in the art room, to which I quickly thanked him and ran to get a canvas. I had never painted on a real canvas, so it was challenging at first, but Gabriele helped me get started, and he said I learned really quickly.

After Eli called me downstairs to watch a movie, I saw how most of the boys looked like they had been crying. It must have been a rough chat.

We put on Dear Evan Hansen, which was never my favorite, but Carlos liked it for some reason. 

When You Will Be Found started playing I could feel Eli shaking slightly, I turned to see them fighting tears, while looking down at their hands. I leaned over and placed my head on their shoulder. Slowly, their head landed on top of mine, and I reached to take their hand in mine. That song was always Carlos' favorite. He saw the beauty in it and sang it to us when he tried to calm us down. Me, when I had a nightmare or just a bad day, and always to Eli, when they came crying to our apartment after another incident with their parents.

I could never describe, how much I missed Carlos. He was my brother, my family, and the one always looking out for me. He sang to me, when I was down, and always laughed with me when I was happy. He brought me to the beach and bought me ice cream, even tho we really couldn't afford it.

I don't think about him a lot, because every time, he flashes in my mind, I start to cry. I remember all the things we did together, all the silly faces he made, and remember, that they will never happen again. He will never chase me around the apartment with that stupid grin on his face again. He will never give me a piggyback ride to the store again, and I will never get to hug him again.

For the longest time, those memories were tainted with my brother's blood, as he died in my arms. Whenever I remembered him, that was the only thing, I could think of. His last breaths, Calling Eli, flushing the drugs, staying in the bathroom to cry my eyes out, while my brother was bleeding out in the next room because I was too weak to see it.

Only Eli was able to help me with that. They made me remember the good things, and work through what happened that day. They pointed out places, where we went together with Carlos, and even tho it hurt to remember, those good memories overcame the bad ones.

In that way, I was lucky. I still had Eli to take care of me. They came over every day and spent every night with me after Carlos died. They sang to me, just like Carlos, when I woke up from a nightmare, and they cooked for me and made me eat, even tho it felt like forcefully stuffing more things into an already full suitcase.

Eli, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. I knew, I could never be to them, what Carlos was. I was just nine for fuck's sake. So, when they lost Carlos, they not only lost their brother but also the thing holding them together. I could see how much they tried to be there for me, but they just couldn't. They fell back into hard drugs, and when Carlos wasn't there to pull them back, they spiraled right off the DuSable bridge.

Eli POV.