Stay With Me | Han Jisung X Reader | Bang Chan X Reader | Stray Kids ~ SKZ |

19 : What's Next?

****TW : Mentions of Self-Harm****

I finally come back to reality and notice the rain falling from the clouds. Cracking the window open just a bit, I can smell the rain and feel the moist air on my skin. Opening the window, I see my hands and remember last night. Grabbing the lotion, bandages, and ointment, I walk to the bathroom.

I just stare at my face in the mirror thankful my face isn't as bad as last night. But, I'm still in disbelief I could do something like this to myself. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I dress my wounds. Some have formed small scabs making them look like cat scratches while the other marks are just thin red lines. I slather my hands in lotion and take a deep breath before heading out the door. I see Changbin sitting in his room alone and decide to talk to him.

Y/N : Hey.

Changbin : Y/N! How are you doing?

Y/N : I'm better. I slept well last night.

Changbin : That's good. We didn't want to wake you earlier, but Joy went out with Hyunjin and Seungmin. I think they're getting breakfast. *looking at his phone* Well lunch now. I'm not too sure. But they should be back soon.

Y/N : Okay, I was surprised she was gone this morning. She's not much of a morning person.

Changbin : The guys are next door right now. I was just heading over there. Want to come?

Y/N : I'm not sure. Especially after last night. I don't think they want to see me...like this.

He walks to me and hugs me.

Changbin : Don't feel bad. You're fine. We understand. Everyone has their own issues and ways of dealing with it. I will say, it was shocking, but it's okay.

Y/N : Are you sure?

Changbin : Don't tell anyone this, but I've hurt myself before.

He then pulled up his shirt and showed me faded scars on his back.

Changbin : These are from years ago, I learned new ways to cope to keep me from doing this again. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, so I'm never shirtless. I don't know what I'd say if the guys saw them.

I felt my eyes welling from him telling me this.

Changbin : I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

I pulled him into a hug before he could finish what he was saying. I hold him for a few moments in silent then pull back looking into his eyes.

Y/N : Thank you. I'm happy you shared that with me.

Changbin : I just want you to know that none of us will ever judge you. I know the guys wouldn't judge me if they saw these, but I...I don't know.

Y/N : You're not ready.

Changbin : Yeah, I'm not ready to talk about it or even face the reality of it. I'm so different from then, I don't know how I'd even talk about it.

Y/N : You don't owe me, them, or anyone an explanation. We're not entitled to that.

Changbin : Thank you.

He smiles at me and grabs my hand.

Changbin : Come to the other house with me. I know the guys want to see you.

Y/N : I don't look like I just left a psych ward, right?

Changbin : *laughing* With those gray sweatpants on...kind of.