Wandering Off

To our future together

When I told Sean about this conversation in the evening, he could only stare at me in utter shock. And for now I had only told him about the offer, that he could move in when we would decide, that we had reached that point in our relationship.

The poor man had just arrived and placed his backpack on the chair beside the window, when I had kinda ambushed him with the new information. He had immediately let himself drop to said chair and was still sitting on top of his things, when I walked closer to him and cupped his face.

"Are you alright? I am already afraid, to tell you the rest of it, by the way you look after those first news. Do you think you can handle a little more? Or maybe, I just ask you about the urgent question, Nathalie needs an answer to. And I can truly understand her with that. So......"

I had finally caught his attention again and he looked up and into my eyes, giving me a polite smile, that kinda started to scare me.

"Was that too much? If you feel like all of that is happening too fast, it's just an offer from Gabriel and Nathalie, it doesn't have to be right away or in the next couple of months. I can understand though, that he wants to keep his son close, so....", I took a deep breath, "if you don't want this anymore, if it's too much, please tell me now, before I fall for you even more than I already have. I just thought you wanted all of this.....I...sorry, I just....."

Trying to hide the tears, which were about to fall from my eyes, I turned around and walked towards my bed, looking frantically around to find anything to at least pretend to be busy with, when I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and he tenderly kissed the side of my neck!

"Sorry", he whispered, "it was a tough day in the hospital, something, I can't and won't talk about, especially to you, but not every treatment ends the way we want it to and I was a little distracted and completely overwhelmed, that you would even consider to live with me already! I would really like that, once we both think we are at that point. So please stop worrying. My actual mood has nothing to do with us or with you!"

"Really?", I muttered and he nodded, then said:

"Well, maybe a little, but not the way you thought. It's just, I came here and I really felt sad and useless, because I failed, no, the surgeon, I was assisting failed, but the outcome was the same and...."

I turned around and cupped both his cheeks now, making him look into my eyes.

"Just tell me, what happened! I am sure, it won't break me! But I can see it's hurting you and I want to help you. Sharing your fear and sorrow makes it only half as bad. Who died? The mother or the baby? Or both?", I pryed.

He gazed at me and sighed, then soundlessly said:

"The baby is fine, but there was a bleeding and he didn't notice. I did, but he wouldn't listen and so, there was nothing we could do, to save the mother's life. And though she could have been saved, I am not supposed to tell the woman's husband the truth, to not damage the doctor's reputation. I could do it anyway, but then, they would probably fire me and I wouldn't be able to find another spot as an intern anywhere here in Paris!"

Sean leaned his forehead against mine and tried to get a hold of himself again.

"Come", I said, "let's just lay down and cuddle. Maybe me, holding you in my arms can cheer you up a little bit!"

But he didn't answer. Instead he started to kiss me, desperately and savagely. Sensing the need to be close to me behind his vigorous ambush, I moved backwards to my bed and pulled him down with me, feeling him soon on top of me, his hands urgently pulling at my dress.

Seconds later it lay on the floor, my underwear and his clothes following straight. He stared at me, stared at my full breast and my growing belly. Then he reached for his member and aimed for my entrance, entering me with a quick thrust.