SPANDEX | Wade Wilson

。eighty one 。

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"Hey."
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Two years had passed since Dreykov had been killed and the Red Room had finally been destroyed. As Wade, Alina and Natasha were still all very much wanted by Ross, they went on the run. They got a jet from Natasha contact and helped Steve get the group stuck in the raft out.

Wanda went to Scotland with Vision, Scott was put on house arrest and so was Clint while Sam joined Steve, Wade, Alina and Natasha on the run. Steve grew out his hair a bit and grew a beard while Natasha cut her hair into a bob and dyed her hair light blonde. Alina just cut hers a little shorter and Wade changed nothing because he couldn't be bothered.

Bruce called Steve out of the blue with the phone he had given Tony, saying that Thanos was on the loose, trying to commit genocide and they needed help. So, they made their way to Scotland to save Vision from being killed by Thanos' minions who desperately needed to give their boss the soul stone.

Before they had left to find Vision, they had been staying in an old sketchy hotel, filled with people probably a whole lot worse than them. Wade and Alina were both still doing their jobs as mercenaries, much to the disappointment of Steve but tonight Wade was late coming back from his current job and it was their anniversary.

Alina was sat on the shitty excuse of a bed when the hotel room door slammed open and closed, Wade storming in holding his katanas by their holder and his mask. He threw them down onto the floor as she stared at him blankly, "Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree, and i had to uh-"

"Uh-uh." Alina shook her head.

"You're right. I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mum is named Martha, too." Wade replied.

"No." She denied.

"Traffic?" He asked and jutted his bottom lip out slightly. "Hm?"

Alina's blank face broke into a grin and she chuckled, "Kiss me like you miss me, дорогой."

"Well, come here." Wade smiled and she hopped off the bed, closing the small distance between them, wrapping her legs around his waist as he caught her, kissing her softly. They parted, Alina smiling as he stared at her. "I'm gonna shower and get out of this suit."

"Don't you want your present?" She asked.

"Do I look like a patient burn victim?" Wade shot back and she grinned, jumping off him. "I got one for you, too." They threw their gifts at one another, both catching them. "Happy anniversary, dungarees. Open, open, open, open." She opened the small box and pulled out a token. "Skee-ball token."

"Our first kinda-date." Alina beamed.

"Yup." He smiled. "That's genuine, high-grade lead."

Alina kissed it jokingly, "I'll cherish it forever. Thank you, детка." She pulled him closer and kissed him quickly. "Open yours."

"Alright, alright." He opened the box to reveal a small piece of metal. "Oh... Well that's... That's just the most beautiful thing that I've... I don't know what this is."

"It's an IUD." Alina smirked.

"A fake bomb?" Wade guessed.

"No, dick-for-brains. An IUD is a birth control. This is a fake one." Alina responded.

"Wait, you mean-"

"Baby factory is open for business." Alina grinned. "I was able to get the operation reversed a few weeks ago when you went on a few jobs to Japan."

"Oh, my God!" Wade yelled, throwing the box behind him as he hugged her tightly. "Oh, my God! I want a boy! Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other! Oh! And I want our kid to only have one name. Like Cher or Todd."

"You gotta create the baby first, дорогой." Alina stated.

"Yes, I do." Wade agreed.

"Let's break that shitty excuse of a bed."

"Let's do that."

After a round or... five, the couple sat on the bed, cuddled together, watching the small tv ahead of them. Alina was bored with the choice of film, Yentl. The woman started singing and Alina leaned her head on Wade's shoulder, slightly bored.

"Does this song sound familiar to you?" Wade asked, leaning his head on hers.

"Irina." Alina mumbled absentmindedly. "Elijah if they're a boy. Irina, if they're a girl?"

Wade chuckled, "So weird. Family was always an F-word to me. My pile of shit father took off and bailed. I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models to draw off of for Todd."

"Hey." Alina mumbled, moving to straddle his lap with a warm smile, cupping his face. "You are not your father. Besides, I will never, ever, let our child be named Todd. He'd be such a dick."

"But here's the thing, isn't that how it always works? Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father and then have consensual sex with their sister?" Wade asked and Alina scoffed a laugh.

"We're not in Star Wars." She reminded him.

"No, we're in a world where no one has parents, or if they do, they're cunts, apparently." Wade muttered.

"Lucky you can't die, then." Alina beamed. "The point is, kids... they give people a chance to be better than they are unless they're cunts. Better than they used to be."

"You're a lot smarter than I look." Wade joked. "I'm gonna go make dessert. You get the strap-on. Let's make a super-super baby."

Alina laughed as she moved from his lap to let him get up and go to the mini fridge, "Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try."

The rest of the night, the pair continued to plan their future, hoping that eventually they could just leave everyone else behind and go their own way, because Fleetwood Mac says so.

{975}