empathy

FORTY-TWO

"What are you watching?" Jasper asks Anastasia, leaning against the door of her living room. "Iron Man," she doesn't bother to look at him.

She has finally gotten used to his presence completely. 

"Edward is bringing Isabella to meet the family. He wants me there" he tells her making his way over to her. 

Sitting next to her, he replaces her legs on his lap, his fingers trailing up and down her leg. Her eyes fall onto him for a second and she frowns for a moment while finishing the last piece of her apple. He looks tense, close to trembling, actually. Leaning forward, she places the empty plate on the desk and turns back to him. 

"You alright?" Anastasia asks him. "Just not a big fan of it. He's putting everyone at risk. Her, because frankly, my control isn't the best. And us, the whole family," he points out. 

Turning to meet her eyes, he smiles a little when she holds her hand out for him. 

"Why your family?" she digs. "Similar to humans, vampires have a hierarchy. At the top are the Volturi, a coven in Italy led by three kings. They are basically keeping us together and making sure we remain secret. Though, many cease to see that. After they took over as ruling coven, they established some rules that would help us live in peace and amongst humans," Jasper tells her. "One of them, for example, says one is forbidden from eliminating one part of a mated couple without eliminating the other. The pain is said to be pure torture, agony. But the most important one, if you will, is the prohibition to reveal oneself to a human."

Her brows furrow together at that. He did reveal himself to her. 

"Now, they tolerate it in certain cases. Ours included. With you being my mate, the rule crosses the forbiddance of parting mates, if you want. So, up to a point, they decide to overlook it. But in the end, you are forced to make a decision," Jasper holds eye contact, wanting her to know how serious the following will be.

"You have three choices, eliminate the threat to our species, which is another phrase for 'kill the human'. Turn the human, make her one of us and make sure to stand by her side, especially during the first few months. Or don't make a choice and be gotten rid of alongside the human."

"So, what you're telling me is that in a rather near future, I'll be dead. One way or another," she summarizes. "I should have probably told you about this sooner and I'm sorry I didn't."

Turning back to the TV, her hand slips from his and he sighs to himself as he places his back on her leg. Her reaction doesn't surprise him. But honestly, he didn't want her to find out and after she did, he didn't want her to spend the next months looking over her shoulder and living even less than she already did. He didn't want her to worry and overthink this. 

He'd have told her eventually and he would have given her time to consider her option and no matter which she would have made, he would have accepted it. 

Jasper won't ever force her into becoming a vampire if she does not wish to turn and honestly, he doesn't believe she'd be happy as a vampire. He believes she would say yes. Not for herself but for Antonina. And eventually, she would hate herself for making that choice, she would hate her sister for having her make this choice and she'd hate him for allowing her to make this choice. 

But then again, he has no idea what's really going on inside of her and he could be wrong. Maybe she would actually learn to live as a vampire, maybe she'd actually want to turn. And maybe he just doesn't want her to go through what he went through, no matter how low the possibility and probability may be. 

He would never forgive himself if she did.

Jasper watches her for a moment longer, his eyes only dropping when she pulls back completely, sitting up with her back against the rest, her body still facing him. 

"Come here," she lets her knees fall to the side and opens her arms. What? 

Rather hesitantly crawling in between her legs, his arms wrap around her and for a moment he just baths in her presence, her scent. It's oddly comforting. 

"You can't eat this up, darling. You need to talk about this. If not with me, then with Rosalie. But you can't ignore it," he mumbles into her shoulder. "I'm not. I just don't want to yell at you right now. I'll do that once the Isabella thingy is over," she tells him honestly. 

As much as she may suck at it, she isn't going to argue with him when he already feels uncertain and insecure. She won't do that to him. 

"I'm looking forward to it," Jasper deadpans. "Will you come with?" he really hopes she will. "Well, I was actually..." she goes to find an excuse. "Please. We'd just be a moment and I promise we'll leave the moment we said our hellos," he cuts her off. 

"Ugh, fine. Can we take Antonina back with us? I don't want her around Isabella. It's just a weird gut feeling," Anastasia agrees reluctantly. "She's your sister. You can take her back with you whenever you want."

"I guess. Now hush, let me watch the rest of my movie in peace."

With her fingers tangled in his hair, massaging his scalp, Jasper is more than happy to oblige and close his eyes. And just for a moment, he lets himself fall into the state as close to sleep as vampires can get. With his gift as well as his senses focused solely on her, he feels calm. Happy. 

It allows him to shut down as much as he can.