solace | theboyz

17

"ugh who's out there ?"

sara pulls her earphones out hurriedly as she heard someone knocking on the door of the on-call room. glancing at the phone that was connected to the earphone she wore earlier, the clock strikes midnight.

the door creaks open, and now she regretted responding to the knocks.

"can i come in ?"

hyunjae's voice echoes through her ears as he slowly slips inside, closing the door. he walks straight to where she's laying on the bed, sitting beside her.

"sara,i.."

"if you're not ready to talk yet then please walk away. i don't want another reason to cry about you like the last time you blew me off," she cuts him off sternly.

"no, i am ready to talk to you and i am going to talk to you now," he replies calmly. she turns to him, looking him exact in the eyes. "okay, go on."

"first off, im sorry for everything that happened. i never meant to act so childishly. something just really has been messing with my head lately and i don't know how to get rid of it. im sorry for lashing it out on you, you don't deserve that."

her heart drops, "jae.. don't tell me..?"

he nods slowly as his emotions starts to overwhelm. looking down, his eyes starts to get blurry.

"it's back. the dream.. it's back. sara, what do i do?" he lets out, holding his tears back. sara quickly took his hand, holding it firmly with both of her hands. she let him cry, putting his head slowly on her shoulder.

he cries, hard. his mind was a mess ever since he found out the person who took away his sister's last hope. it was him, lee juyeon; who happens to be his bestfriend's patient. who happens to be a person that both him and sara cherishes a lot. who happens to be a person that he would want to cure and let him live a happy life.

he felt like he was thrown into the same nightmare that was haunting him for years. those years he spent, mourning on his sister's death. the one who kept him alive throughout, now he's back in this position again.

anger, rage and revenge.

he swore to himself he would find the person who took away the heart that was supposed to be his sister's last hope. he swore that he would let whoever the person who took it lives in regret.

lee juyeon was the person who cut off the heart transplant queue ten years ago. he was the one who tore apart mine and hyera's lifes.

but he can't. he can't do it, and that's what has been killing him inside. the nightmares of her sister keep coming back, eating him alive. the worse part is, he can't do it because of her. seeing her gets closer to lee juyeon makes it even harder for him. he tries to tore them away, but she made it so hard that he felt like a villain in their story.

the thought of taking someone's life away haunts him, he never asked to feel this way. to feel the need to punish someone who took everything away from him, but he is not god. he can't decide on what happens; though the choices are always in his hands.

who am i even to determine the future of someone's life ?

hyunjae sighs, removing her hands off him as the thoughts in his head slowly shifting towards her. he sniffs, finally looking at her. sara pats his back, "better?"

was it really his fault, or is it just our fate that we were always unlucky in terms of life ?

he nods, "thank you."

sara smiles, and his heart aches more.

"i will be here for you always, forever. you'll get through the nightmares all over again like you did before," she says, still patting his back. "your sister will be so proud of you, jae"

and it just keep aching.

sara reaches for his hands again, clasping it together with hers while smiling sweetly.

"don't be sad jae.."

and just like that, the anger and rage burning inside him was extinguished. he gathers up all his courage and wraps her body with both of his arms. his tears keeps falling as it wets her shirt off but she doesn't care.

it's his home, and he's thankful that at least he still have something that happened in life he's grateful for.