solace | theboyz

20

watching someone you live your whole life sharing pain and struggles with, looking lifeless and hopeless on the bed; even worst that they left you with the unspoken words, they left you hanging with a question that will never be answered.

his chest moves up, then down, slowly. the tears were all used up and there's really no use of crying either. everything still feels surreal; him sacrificing his life, for another person's rights. they were not even his family, nor even his close friends yet he tortured himself and even willing to sacrifice his life to save others.

the oath, that's the oath that all doctors swore to themselves that they will do anything in order to protect their patients. to cure them, to give them a happy life no matter how hard it would be.

still, she can't get used to it. she can't get used to the fact that there may be no tomorrow with him in it. she can't even think of living in the future without having him by her side.

that night before the accident happened, everything was perfect. she got what she wants, she got the love that she has been looking for ever since but the universe decided against it. there were sparks, but it died overnight.

i couldn't even feel the feeling of being loved properly. i couldn't even tell him how i loved him dearly, how i care and appreciate him for being by my side. how much longer do i have to wait until i finally get to talk on how much i adore him ? till i get to stare at his starry eyes again ?

it is hard.

knowing for a fact that his heart would go to the person who is supposed to be under her care, the one who she supposed to sacrificed her life for; instead hyunjae was the one who did it, for her.

"you know, i still have some hope in my heart that you will eventually wake up," she starts, looking down at him. "i really need you to wake up so i can get back on my feet, then.. do more surgeries."

talking to the unresponsive guy infront of her has been her new job for the past few weeks and she thinks she's slowly getting used to it; not having hyunjae talking back to her, eventhough it strikes through straight to her heart when that thought came acrossed.

"i want to stay longer but sadly im a really busy person as you know so i got to go cutting people up." she jokes. "you better wake up by the time i got back here today so i can tell you my amazing surgeries story"

she then reach up for his forehead, caressing it slowly; putting his hair strands away. admiring his beauty, emotions starts to overwhelm her thoughts.

"well damn it jaehyun i miss you so much just wake up already," sara lets out, nearly having a breakdown again.

walking out from his ward, she then walks to the hall of the hospital. finally taking care of herself again, dressed up well in her scrubs. scanning her id on the scanner, she saw a person struggling to get on a wheelchair infront. as she gets closer, her heart almost ran away from her body.

"juyeon ? what are you doing here ?"

juyeon quickly turns to her as he hand out his hand, pleading for her help to get on his wheelchair. sara took both of his hand and helped him to sit. confusion clearly written all over her face, meanwhile juyeon just have his usual expression, except it was obvious that his eyes are quite swollen; as if he's just done crying his eyes out.

"are you okay, juyeon?" she asks. "no, yeah im fine i just.. was walking around here then i fell off the wheelchair." he replies hurriedly.

"why are you out of breath ? take a deep breath juyeon, this is not good for your health. you're overworking it."

sara then quickly rubs his back, asking him to inhale multiple times using the breathing techniques. he just follows what the doctor said, holding his chest tightly.

"juyeon, can you breathe properly?"

he gasps for air, "sara.. it hurts"

panic upon hearing what he said, she moves swiftly putting her hand on his chest; pushing it down slowly, hoping that it would take off a few amount of pain that's pressuring his weak heart. after a few minutes, things finally calmed down as juyeon was inhaling his breath properly.

he thanked her, but she just waved him off saying that it was just her job. pushing his wheelchair to the direction of his room, thoughts overflowing her mind.

would he be happy if he heard the news that we found another heart for him almost at instant, after we lost one the other day ?

most importantly, would hyunjae be happy if his heart was given to the person who.. sort of doesn't have a good relation between them ?

he hated lee juyeon, that was as far as she knows. the reason behind it ? only lee jaehyun knew himself.

"i heard that they lost the heart" he speaks, almost sounding like he's about to cry.

"we did," she keeps pushing his wheel chair while throwing the thoughts that's consuming her mind away. "im sorry that you have to.. wait again."

he chuckles slowly, preventing himself from coughing "it's not your fault."

it is my fault.

seeing that he receives no replies, he continues, "i heard they are going to pick up another heart soon, if it matches mine.."

this time, she stopped abruptly. her heart almost dropped down to the floor, but she quickly gather up her guts to keep pushing her patient wheelchair back into the hopital.

"yeah" was all that left her mouth, worried that she might overspill and have another breakdown session. not infront of her own patient, never.

"i hope it fits me well, can't wait to live like a normal person again."

i hope it doesn't match.

i may be a doctor, but in this case; i am just hyunjae's close friend.

"yeah, we shall hope it matches your body well.."