solace | theboyz

31

the cold air greeting her cheeks startled herself from zoning out. the blazer hugging her body right somehow feels suffocating, no matter how she fix it on her body. looking at her left, there's a figure of a man sitting down; looking like he's mumbling something while looking at the photo infront of them.

she tapped on his shoulder slowly, smiling at him.

"we should go now," she says.

he looked up to her before standing, without the smile that he used to brag on how people love it when he smiles. he sighs, repeatedly; with his eyes forming crystal clear tears on the eyelids.

she took his hand gently, leading him outside. she inhales deeply, not wanting those liquid coming out from her eyelids like him.

it's not that she doesn't want to cry.
it's just that she's too tired to even cry.

"wait for me."

they keep on walking as she ignored him, straight to the car that she owns. unlocking the car, she saw two light blue scrubs folded neatly at the backseat as she walked pass it.

she stops, looking at herself.

a dark blue scrubs, with a black blazer hugging it nicely.

time do passes really quick.

starting the engine as she put on her seatbelt, rush of emotions goes through her mind. her ears caught the sobbing sounds coming from the man next to her. she sighs, pulling out a box of tissues and put it on the dashboard infront of the passenger seat.

"i'm sorry," he says slowly, wiping his own tears.

"just stop, I've heard that way too many times i don't know if i can take it anymore," she lets out, holding her head. "i don't want to cry, again"

"right, i should shut up" he replied.

"it's been two months since the surgery. are you feeling well ?"

driving slowly from the grave, she takes the left route going straight back to the hospital. juyeon took a glance on her as he straighten his blazer, crumpling the tissues on his hand.

"i just hope tomorrow won't be the last time i open my eyes.."

sara frowns, "lee juyeon i swear to god.."

"okay yeah i feel good and confident i guess ? i just want to feel being alive, but i just don't want to put my hopes high.. yet.." he laughs, scratching his head.

"you'll get through this."

juyeon smiles nonchalantly as he glance at her again, "ofcourse i will. you were the one who held the scalpel why should i doubt, damn it"

sara chuckles lightly, though her heart aches at the thought of his surgery. rush of emotions swimming in her as she focuses more on the road, knowing too well that if she lets herself consumed with the emotions fight; she'll lose.

"i want to know who's the donor," juyeon says, tapping his fingers in the dashboard while stealing a glance at her. she shifts in her seat uncomfortably, before brushing her bangs back.

"it's the donor's privacy. they agreed to conditions that if their organs get donated once they died, it'll be from an anonymous. im sorry but i can't tell you." she exhales, carefully spitting lies.

truth is, juyeon doesn't even need to know who's his donor was. he just needs to focus on getting better, just like how she's trying to distract the thoughts that runs wild in her head about who's heart is he receiving.

her heart aches, her inner thoughts screams, whimpers and shouts though no one can hear them. tears starts to blurry her vision as the grip on of her hand tightened on the steering wheel. the rain pours heavily outside seems like trying to accompany the melancholic feeling that surrounds her.