The Summers After

sixteen

BELLY

She finds Conrad on the patio with his feet dangling in the water. She takes a deep breath before deciding to join him.

He doesn't say anything as she sits down as close to him as possible and laces her fingers into his.

"I think your graduation day is where it all went wrong for me & Jere." He says quietly, without looking at her.

"What?"

Conrad kicks his feet gently in the still pool, the water ripples higher on her legs. The sun is going to come up soon, and it'll frame the beach perfectly. "I had to see you, it was killing me. So I went to your graduation, and that night I came over to your apartment. We stayed together, and I should have told him first. I should have told him about it, that I couldn't live without you any longer, that it was becoming increasingly hard for me to breathe without you in my life," Conrad becomes short of breath and he starts inhaling quickly.

Belly sets her free hand on his chest, "Breathe Con."

His eyes snap to meet hers. She holds his gaze as he calms his breathing. "I was selfish."

"I think we both were."

"So you heard?"

Belly nods, sheepishly, "Yes."

Conrad exhales, his breath still a little shallow, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I keep wondering what I could have done differently."

"Don't do that to yourself. We all make mistakes and we have to move on."

Conrad rubs her wrist with his thumb, "I don't know if it's that easy."

Belly takes a deep breath and looks away from him. She can't ask the question while she looks at him. She's too scared it'll be written on his face. "Do you think life would have been easier without me?"

"What?" His voice is sharp.

"I just mean, do you think you and Jeremiah would have had a better relationship or maybe both of you would have less shit going on if I just wouldn't have ever come along?"

Conrad takes her face in his hands, a bit roughly, "Don't you ever say something like that to me again. Okay?" Belly nods, a few tears falling down her face. He leans forward and kisses her cheeks, one kiss per cheek, so softly.

"I feel like I caused this though. And it kills me."

Conrad wraps his arm around her and pulls her close to him, "You didn't."

Belly eyes him, he's lying to her, she did cause it. But it can't be up to just her to fix it. She's with Conrad now, and they need to sort through it on their own. She can't keep getting in between the two of them, she's been doing it for far too long.

She hears tiny footsteps behind them and turns around to see Matt. "Morning babe," she says softly.

"Good morning!" He says happily. He runs over to where they are sitting, separates them and climbs into Conrad's lap.