You're Mine. Namjin

57

Jin's pov

Why did Namjoon say that Jackson wasn't his friend, I clearly remember that's how he'd introduced him. 

Namjoon gave me a guilty look, what was he going to tell me?

Is he going to tell me what Jackson was blackmailing him over? Is this what he wanted to tell me before, at school?  

"Namjoon, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll love you regardless." I held his hand reassuringly, but he took his hand from mine. 

"I know you won't but that's okay, I deserve it."

"Joon don't say such-" 

"I paid Jackson to come into Mark's life. I used my father's contacts to get him enrolled on our school. He wasn't my friend, just a guy I met briefly at the bar. I paid him to date Mark." Namjoon confessed. 

Did I just imagine him saying those things, there was no way he could do that...

I laughed awkwardly then looked at Joon. 

"Yeah right, as if that would happen," I looked into his eyes hoping they would tell me that Joon was just kidding, but all I saw in them was guilt.

I swallowed and asked him, "Is that what Jackson was blackmailing you over?" 

"I wish that was all he was blackmailing me over." 

"Why did you do this to him Namjoon, over that one argument the two of you had in the cafe when I passed out. How could you purposely play with his feelings like that? Why would you bring a person like this into our lives? He not only hurt you but he might have taken Mark from us forever." I began to get angry. My friend would never have been in this situation if Namjoon hadn't brought Jackson into our lives. 

"Because I was insecure and jealous. I was jealous of him because I loved you. I hated how close you and him were, so I created a distraction. I thought Jackson was the perfect distraction. He was only supposed to keep Mark busy until you and I came together, after that he was supposed to break up with him nicely and leave Seoul."

I listened to Namjoon in shock, what the actual fuck was wrong with him?!

"But, I got more than I'd bargained for. Jackson soon became eager to stay and I was stuck with entertaining him because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. So I let him have his way with me, but I never thought he'd do this to Mark. He'd promised me that as long as I kept him happy he would keep Mark happy. I tried my best Jin I really did, but of course, a fucked up foundation causes the building to collapse no matter how well the rest of it had been built. I am the fucked up foundation."  

Why Namjoon, why did you do this to yourself and to others?? 

"Why Namjoon? I fell in love with you for you, for your beautiful soul. Mark or anyone else couldn't have done anything about that, because it was your heart that I wanted." I told fighting back my tears of anger and frustration. 

"But you didn't, you still don't. You don't even know my heart. If you did you would've never looked at me again. I'm sorry Jin, I'm so so sorry for the things I have done. No level of repentance will be enough to atone for my mistakes. I tried to forget about it all, but I just can't especially when Mark is like this because of me." Namjoon wiped his tears as he spoke but I interrupted him. 

"First of all, Mark isn't like this because of you, he's like this because of Jackson and only Jackson. Yes, you did very wrong by playing with Mark's feelings, but you are not responsible for Jackson's crimes. This is not your fault so don't you dare hold yourself responsible. And secondly, you already apologised for your past, Namjoon, and I forgave you. We all forgave you. It doesn't mean anything anymore, so why can't you let go of it."