Rock Bottom

30

~10 months later~

I sat on my bed scrolling through old posts, I had been doing this all year. Looking at the same ones over and over, I missed my old life. I missed my family, I missed Sam and Kat, I missed Stas, and I sure as hell missed Colby. We haven't talked since that night, Sam told me he was a wreck, if he wasn't filming videos he stayed in his hotel room alone. I didn't have the courage to message him and I knew he didn't want to talk to me. I had truly hit my rock bottom.

@Katrinastuartoffical:

Liked by Colby Brock and 8,412 more
Katrinastuartoffical: we tried to have a movie night 🤣
Colby Brock: oh hush, damn we look good
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@Y/n at Night

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Y/n: 🥺
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After I got out of the hospital I rented out a small apartment for me, I told Kacey to stay at their house so she could house sit like she promised. I didn't feel comfortable being there without them so I stayed at my own place. My writing really took off, I declined the label and slowly quit YouTube. I didn't have the energy anymore, I still did collaboration videos but on other peoples channels. Amber was really sweet and kind to me, she let me stay with her until I got on my feet. Kat and Sam messaged me everyday and so did Stas.

I officially released my first book and it was doing great, it was called A Rose Bush. It's about a woman and man, they fall madly in love with each other until he starts to fall out, she begs and pleads for him to stay but he won't. I always put a part of myself in the books so yes there was part of me and Colby there too. I moved from instagram to my camera roll, I felt numb at this point. I loved him with all my heart, I wanted him back so badly, I scrolled through photos for the 20th time that day.