Let me love you

27

Heath

"Yo, pass me a bottle man" Jasper shouts from the couch across and gets tossed a beer from some random man.

"Finally decided to come back for fun, Heath?" Hanna asks me but I don't say anything to her, I wasn't trying to talk about me.

That was the whole point of coming here, to forget. I chug down the rest of the alcohol in my hand and take a third in front of me.

I'd been spending the last week or two here, this was the place where some friends from college and I would hang out. Though, I hadn't been here in a couple of months, I always returned.

Because there was always something I wanted to forget or get my mind off of. Like right fucking now.

Everything and everyone pissed me off even at the slightest interaction. I wanted to shout at anyone who even looked at me, I was easily irked right now but I didn't care. They can leave me alone.

"Where have you been? Haven't seen you here since the cops came that one time, remember that?" Jasper chuckles, looking completely out of it.

If he looked that bad, I imagine how bad I looked. He'd taken more hard shit than me but we pretty much drank the same amount.

If I was in the mood to answer, it's not like I could anyway because I felt tired as fuck and my head was spinning. But this is the feeling I wanted to endure by coming here.

The loud music didn't help at all and not even this much beer could solve my problems. I take deep breaths as I look around feeling that same anxious feeling I've felt for the past couple of weeks.

I look down at my wrist where the colorful bracelet Thalia made me stayed, I never took it off. It was resourceful in some way as I'd play with the circly flower beads on it. That and because she made it for me.

I think back to the day she came to my house, she came in ready to apologize for my mood because she thought she was the reason behind it. I didn't feel like correcting her at the time but now I was feeling guilty because she doesn't deserve that.

I don't deserve her.

She was too good and she has a good future ahead of her. Not like me, at least I still had a future thanks to her.

I look up to see a passed out Jasper on the couch, just like he would always get after hitting it too hard. Hanna was being her usual self and taking selfies of herself as she drank straight from the bottle.

I reach into my pocket and for the first time in weeks, I read my messages. Which was a lot but at the time seemed like a good fucking thing to do.

I open the first message on top, from Duke realizing he'd called and texted me a few hundred times. But I didn't want to talk to him, he knew how I got and would try to say some corny shit to make me feel better.

I scroll a little further up at his same repetitive texts until I stop at a picture that catches my eye.

My date for today 💗

I read the caption he wrote along with the picture of Thalia eating a waffle in front of him. It seemed like a picture taken when she wasn't looking but seeing as the message wasn't as recent, I wonder how long those two have been spending time together.

Is that what they've been doing all this time? Was she spending time with him? I didn't want her to talk to him like she talks to me. I don't want her making the same jokes she makes with me. I don't want her doing anything she does to me with him.

I know Duke was probably pretending to hit on her but I didn't like the actual thought of him going along with it.

I find myself missing her presence already, this wasn't even the first time either. My thoughts would slip up and think of her making me ache for her.