His Heart

Chapter three: Charlie

"Charlie." Michelle said. "Are you with us?"

I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Sí." I murmured. "I'm here."

"Good." She said.

She continued talking as I switched off again.

Madeline has soccer tomorrow, you need to make sure you've washed her kit. And Leo has a playdate with the boys across the road. You need to go shopping on Friday because it's shut for the weekend. Your shirts will need ironing before Monday.

Jasmine's voice floated through my mind like a calming stream, washing over all the harsh noises of the office.

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Michelle?"

"Where are you today?" She asked.

"Sorry." I murmured.

"Stop by my office later." She said. "If there are no questions everyone can go back to work."

Chairs scraped as people got up and went back to their desks. I didn't move and Michelle sat next to me. 

"How have you been, Charlie?" She asked, her voice gentle. 

"I'm alright." I said. "I've just been distracted." 

She nodded. She knew what I'd been through the last seven years. 

"Y'know there's always grief group." She said. 

I shook my head. I went to grief group when she first died and it didn't help. I wasn't going to sit around talking about my feelings to a bunch of strangers. 

She sighed. 

"I want you to take some time off." She said. "I'm not firing you. You've been an excellent resource to the team. But you need some time." 

"I'm fine." 

"You've been here for twenty years." She continued as if she hadn't even heard me. "And even when I tried to get you to take some leave to cope with your loss, you refused. You are still, technically, eligible for that leave. I want you to take it." 

"I don't need to take time off. I'm fine." I protested. 

"It's not up for discussion, Charlie." She said. "It's three months paid leave. Find some time to relax. You might feel better for it." 

"So that's it?" 

"Yes." She nodded. "I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm trying to help." 

She handed me a slip of paper. 

"Try it for three months." She said. "I really think it'll be good for you." 

I nodded as I read the calligraphy. Grief group. Thursdays 2pm. 

"Thank you." I murmured. I stood up without another word and left her office. Outside, I went to throw the slip away but my fingers wouldn't let go. I pocketed it instead and started the long walk home. 

~*~ 

There was a benefit to being sent home early. I could make a proper dinner. Paella? We hadn't had paella in ages. I drove to the shops to pick up some ingredients. I walked around and bumped into a young woman with her two young boys in tow. 

"Sorry." We said at the same time. 

She waited until I stepped out of the way before smiling and taking one of the kids by the hand. 

"Thank you." She said. "Come on boys." 

She guided the kids past me and headed for the vegetable section. I could hear the kids groan and smiled, looking back at her.