His Heart

Chapter thirty-one: Charlie

My head hurts. So does my heart. Every part of my body ached.

I had called the police, but I didn't know how much they would do. What could they do? It was her word against his.

She should have told me sooner.

It's not her fault. I know that. I couldn't turn back time and make her confess. I couldn't turn back time so we had never met Oliver and the whole thing had never happened.

It's not too late to do something. I had to do something. This was my daughter.

Therapy. I should take her to therapy. She needed to talk to someone about this. About the details. She wouldn't tell me any more about what he did and I understood that. I was still her father after all. There were some things she would never tell me.

But before I could help her, I needed to calm down. I needed to talk to someone about what was going on in my head, before I did something reckless.

I wanted to talk to Jasmine, but when I tried I got no answer. I didn't know how she would respond to this. It felt strange. For years, I had always managed to carry on her half of the conversation. Had always known exactly what she would say.

But now, I didn't know. I didn't know anything.

I reached for the phone, itching to talk to someone about this. I hovered over Sebastian's name but paused.

I couldn't tell him. Maddie needed at least one person who would treat her the same until she was ready to talk. She needed someone who didn't feel sorry or angry for her. Someone who was just there.

I scrolled down until I reached her number. Was this right? Should I be talking to someone Maddie didn't know about this very personal, private thing she was going through?

Maybe I should call Sebastian instead. But before I could hang up the phone, she answered.

"Charlie?"

She sounded rough, like she had been crying and I had second thoughts about offloading my problems onto her. But it was too late now.

"Hey." I said. "Are you free?"

"I can be." She replied, with a sniff.

"It's ok. You don't have to."

"No. No." She said. "It'll be good to have company."

"Do you want to meet at Chester park?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Sure." She said. "Let me just get my boys."

"Is it ok if I bring Leo along?" I asked.

"Of course." She said. "It's about time they had an introduction."

~*~

"Kids, do you want to go to the park?" I asked.

Leo looked up, interested, and went to put his shoes on.

"Maddie?" I chided.

"No thank you, Papá." She whispered. She was sat on the sofa, her legs tucked under her chin as if protecting herself.

I looked at her, silently, wondering how I could make it better.

"Call me if you need me, cariño." I said, kissing her forehead.

I turned around to put my shoes on and took Leo's hand.

"Come on, cariño." I murmured.

We walked towards the park and I told him all about Lizzie.

"You'll like Lizzie, Leo. She's got twins close to your age. Luke and Liam."

"Are they nice?" He asked.

"Yes. I hope you get on."

He giggled like there wasn't a care in the world. And there wasn't. At least, not in his world. What a wonderfully simple place that must be.

We reached the park and he raced towards the swings without another thought whilst I kept an eye out for Lizzie.

My mind drifted back to my daughter. There was no worse feeling than seeing your child in pain and not being able to do anything about it. All I could do was be there for her.

"Hey." I looked up and smiled as Lizzie approached with her boys in tow.

"Hey." I kissed her cheek and she squatted down to introduce her boys.

"This is Luke and Liam." She said, patting each kid on the head as she introduced them. "Don't worry if you struggle to tell them apart, most do. Even me and Josh do sometimes."

The twins giggled and I squatted down, holding out two lollipops with a smile.

"Nice to meet you." I told them. "I've brought my little boy too, hold on a minute."

I looked up where Leo was on the climbing frame.

"Leo! Come and meet Lizzie." I called.

Leo appeared at my side almost instantly and smiled.

"This is Leo." I said, putting my hands on his shoulders.

Leo looked up at me.

"It's ok." I said, gently. "Do you want to say hi?"

He waved and hid behind my legs until I knelt down to whisper in his ear.

"Do you want to ask the boys if they want to play?"

He looked at me and I gave him an encouraging smile.

He stepped forward and introduced himself to the twins.

"Let's play on the climbing frame." He said.

The boys ran off to play and I smiled at Lizzie.

"How have you been?" I asked, carefully.

She hesitated.

"Not great." She said. "I've had a rough week. You?"

"Same." I replied, sitting on the bench.

She sat next to me with a sigh and, almost without realizing, rested her head on my shoulder. It felt both familiar and unfamiliar. My wife and daughter had done the same so many times when they were tired or sad or scared. But her pleasant smell of coconut and vanilla was new and oddly comforting.

We sat and watched the kids play together, and I could feel her start to smile.

"How's your daughter?" Lizzie asked.

I paused.

"She's having a hard time at the minute." I replied.

She nodded and didn't press.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, carefully.

She hesitated before sitting up. I wrapped an arm around her and coaxed her into a lying down position until her head was resting on my lap.

"I'm going through a hard time with my best friend at the minute." She murmured. "I've been helping look after his girls whilst he gets his life back on track. I just feel guilty, because I should have seen that something was up, I guess."

I nodded and I had the strangest feeling of déjà-vu.

Same park, same bench. Jasmine's head on my lap, telling me about her day. Offloading her problems at least for a while.

I had missed this.

It was strange how something completely new could feel so familiar.

What was even stranger was how much I loved it.