His Heart

Chapter eleven: Charlie

"Papá?" 

"Yeah, cariño?" I murmured. 

"Do you think you'll find someone like Mamá?" 

I looked at my boy and smiled. He had asked that question a lot over the last few days. Our conversation was starting to sink in. He held his toy spaceship in the air and turned to look at me. 

"I don't know, cariño." I replied the same way I always did. "Your mamá was one of a kind. I don't think I'll ever find someone like her again." 

"But she'll be nice, right?" 

"Of course she will." I said, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around him. "I will never date someone you were uncomfortable with." 

He nodded. 

"What if Mamá doesn't like her?" He asked. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I talk to her sometimes." He replied. 

My voice caught in my throat and I choked back the emotion, stroking his hair.

"Si?" 

He nodded. 

"I do too." I said, with a sad smile. 

"You do?" 

"Sí." I said. "All the time."

"Do you think Mamá knows you're looking for someone new?" 

I nodded. 

"I told her." I said. 

"What did she say?" 

"She said she wanted us to be happy." I told him. "Are you happy?" 

He nodded. 

"Most of the time." He said. "But I miss Mamá." 

"I do too." I kissed his forehead. "Every day." 

"Do you think she knows who our new mamá is?" He asked. 

Oh Jasmine, do you?

Tears rolled down my face as I thought about my wife and the person she would choose when I was ready. She would only pick the woman who would love us as much as she had. The woman who could take her place without pushing her out. 

"I think she's working on it." I said. "I think she has a plan for us, I just don't know what it is." 

This, I believed with my whole heart. I hadn't been myself since she died, and maybe that's because I wasn't myself anymore. Maybe since she died, I had been a puppet and she had just been taking me wherever she wanted me to go. 

~*~ 

"Maddie! It's time for school." I called.

There was no reply and I sighed as I headed upstairs. She's been very emotional the last few days.

"Maddie?" I knocked on the door and entered.

The covers were pulled over her head and she didn't move.

"Cariño?" I lowered the covers where she lay, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I watched her for a few minutes.

"I'm going to take Leo to school." I said. "I'll be back soon. I'll ring school on the way and tell them you won't be in."

I stroked her hair lightly and stood up, closing the door and heading downstairs.

"Right, come on, Leo." I said. "Let's go."

"What about Maddie?" He asked.

"She's sick."