His Heart

Chapter seventeen: Charlie

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering if this was the right kind of thing to wear on a date.

Jasmine had always loved exciting dates. Bowling and laser parks and roller skating with a meal afterwards where we could sit and talk for hours.

After seven or so years, we no longer needed to talk because we always knew what the other was thinking.

Looking good, Sanchez. Jasmine's voice was clear in my head, almost as if she was standing behind me, checking me out. I couldn't help but turn around to check, the way I used to that first year after she died.

"You don't think it's too much?" I asked, aloud.

Querido, you are always too much. She smiled. Your heart is too big. That's why I married you.

I smiled, studying myself in the mirror. I wore a blue button down and black jeans, reaching for my black denim jacket, I smiled at Jasmine's attempted whistle. I could almost see her brilliant smile in the corner of my eye but when I turned, I saw nothing.

Do you think I'm doing the right thing, querida? Is this what you want for me?

I paced the floor anxiously. I hadn't been on a date with someone other than Jasmine in twenty years.

Jeez, you need to get back out there old man. 

I had two kids I had always put first. I had no business dating again at this age. 

You deserve happiness, querido. You always have. 

I looked at myself in the mirror again and ran a hand through my tousled hair. Was I supposed to put gel in it or style it in some way?

"Papá?"

"Yeah, cariño?" I turned to face my daughter.

"Stop worrying." She said, stepping forward to straighten my collar. "Just be yourself."

I nodded as she stepped back to assess my outfit choice. She smiled.

"I'm not sure about this." I said, tugging at my collar. 

She tutted and straightened it again. "It's going to be fine. Just go out there, and have fun." 

I nodded. 

"What time are you picking her up?" She asked. 

I checked my phone. 

"Ten minutes." 

"You'd better go." 

"You still alright to watch Leo?" I checked. 

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Now go. You don't want to be late." 

"Ok, bye querido." 

"Bye, Papá." She said, kissing my cheek. 

Leo held out his arms and I picked him up. 

"Be good for your sister." I murmured in Spanish. 

"Sí, Papá." He said, as I kissed his cheek. 

I smiled as I left the house, looking back at my kids who gave encouraging smiles. They had handled this so well, I was really proud of them. 

Now I just had to find the confidence they had in me. 

~*~ 

I took a deep breath as I parked the car and stepped out onto her drive. Walking up, I hoped my legs wouldn't collapse underneath me. I knocked and waited until the key turned into the lock, swallowing my fears.