His Heart

Chapter thirty-seven: Charlie

How had this happened to two people I love?

I could see it now, a small part of her that held back watching, as the rest of her walked through this with me.

Was that what would happen to Maddie? Would a part of her always hold back from relationships because she couldn't stop thinking about him?

Was there nothing I could do to stop it?

I looked at Lizzie again and couldn't help but feel that somehow I had failed again.

Should I have seen it sooner?

How Charlie? People only show you what they want you to see.

Lizzie smiled at me as we walked hand in hand and I got a flash of recognition. Her beaming smile reminded me so much of Jasmine.

That tug was back. The tug on my heart that felt like Jasmine tugging on my sleeve.

I'm still here. We're still married. Don't run off and forget about me.

She led me into a bar and we sat down in a quiet corner. She flagged the waitress down and we ordered a drink before sinking into conversation.

I thought about what she had told me. I had thought of little else all week. She had brushed it off and had made me promise to focus on my daughter, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I wanted to find the person who had hurt her and kill him. I wanted to strangle him. Make him feel the pain he had inflicted on Lizzie and God knows how many others.

"You're always so quiet." She told me, taking a sip of her drink.

I'm worried about you. I want to always worry about you.

"I like to listen." I said. "Jas used to drive the conversation, I was just along for the ride."

She laughed.

"Can you tell me about her?" She asked.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

She nodded. "What was she like?"

I paused. What was the best way to describe someone who was larger than life?

"She was a force of nature." I said. "She put everyone ahead of herself. She adored her kids. She was the kind of person who walks into the room and lights it up."

Just like you. I added silently. She smiled as if she knew what I was thinking. I took a long gulp of my drink to shake away those betraying thoughts.

She watched me and rested her hand on mine.

"It's ok." She said.

"What is?"

"To think about her. It shows you had something meaningful."

I nodded.

"How old were the kids when she died?" She asked, carefully.

"Maddie was eight, and Leo was one." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I thought of all the things she had missed.

She nodded, taking my hand properly and keeping quiet.

I brushed away a solitary tear.

"Sorry." I said. "I know this isn't an exciting date."

She shook her head.

"I like learning about you." She said.

I swallowed and took another gulp of my drink. Ordering a second one, I sat back and watched her. She was so beautiful.