Reincarnated As Conny (HIATUS)

Chapter 52: The Ritual

"I need to see her," I mumbled.

"Why?" Ray asked me a question. When he noticed my silence, Ray clenched his fist. "You know that she was ready to ship you out. She let the other children be killed. She won't even hesitate to sacrifice more if it means living longer..."

"Ray--"

"I'm not saying that I'm not like her, after all, we're the same kind," Ray paused. He retracted his gaze from me. I can see the guilt on his face.  "We're both monst---"

"Ray! Stop saying that!" I shouted.

I bit my lips as I took a deep sigh.

Mama Isabella... I can't let her alone, right? 

As Y/N, I hated and sympathize with Isabella knowing that her life is full of tragedy, but as Conny, I loved Mama Isabella as my mother.

As the Conny that Isabella raised, I know that she was ready to sacrifice me for her safety and I felt betrayed, but remembering the kindness and knowing her own sufferings from my previous life, how can I let her alone knowing that she'll suffer more?

I need to survive, but I won't survive without Mama Isabella.

Therefore I need to come back for her.

"I'll save mom no matter what," I told him as I took a deep sigh. "Do not worry about me, just focus on your own goal. You know that the facility will come looking for you and the other children. Maybe soon, we will also receive a command to catch you."

"Hah... I can sense that you're going to do something dumb again," Ray mumbled before brushing his hair in frustration. 

"You're so mean Ray," I told him with a facepalm. 

"Mean? I am telling the truth," He said. "When you left the Orphanage, you told me that we need to save you, but now that you're given a chance to escape with us, you'll choose to go back to that place. Aren't you an idiot?"

"Geez, can't you trust me? I'm not doing things blindly okay?" I told him. " And if you're worried about me, just tell me directly. I can still remember that you cried when I left the Orphanage---OUCH! you hit me again!"

"Who's crying for who, Idiot?" Ray asked.

I pouted my lips while caressing my head. I know that the boink on my head is not that painful, but I can't help but feel remorse for this brat!

Tsundere! 

Where did you get that personality, huh?

Ray took a deep sigh before crossing his arms. He sat on a large stone as his eyes fell to the round.

"Going back to that place is too dangerous... Even if you're privileged, that place is too cruel for you. Maybe you haven't experienced the extent of cruelness in that place, but once you felt that you're powerless, you will slowly start to hate yourself."

Ray is speaking from his own experience...

He's probably right...

I've never experienced... that extent of cruelness in the facility... yet.

I've never witnessed someone else's death and thinking that someone I know might die because I'm powerless is scary...

One of the greatest examples is the children that will die today in Goldy Pond. I ran away without looking back because I was afraid to witness their hopeless deaths... I am powerless because I can't do anything about it.

This is why I look up to Emma...

The things that I can't do... She'll do it...

"Conny... Don't come back to the facility and come with us," Ray told me with seriousness in his voice. "Emma and Norman wanted to see you, whatever plan you are planning inside that facility... Throw it away, we can always think of an alternative..."