what it feels like - Austin Butler

seventeen - this is what it feels like

As I wait for Austin to arrive, I decide to change out of his clothes that I've been wearing all day. I leave on his t-shirt, but switch out the huge sweatpants for some black shorts. I also set out two glasses of wine and grab the fanciest bottle of wine I have. I don't know anything about alcohol, but my parents gifted it to me and it's sat there untouched for years. I figured tonight could be the night to crack it open.

It's been about 30 minutes so I expect Austin will be here soon. I light a few candles and turn off some of the more obnoxious lights, opting to go with just candlelight and lamps. I told him to come over to hear the song but honestly, I have different plans.

Two knocks sound on the door, and I hurry over to open it up. On the other side, Austin stands with a bouquet of wildflowers in one of his hands. Before saying anything, I pull him inside by his plain white t-shirt and plant a kiss on his mouth. He pulls away, saying, "A little eager, are we, Dempsey?"

"Maybe," I reply, innocently, reminding everything Olivia told me. I watch him scan me up and down, biting his lip. I might as well just go for it. He sets the flowers down on the small table by the entryway of my apartment. Quickly, I'm being scooped into his arms and set down on the couch.

Austin begins at my lips, leaving a trail of kisses down my neck as far as the neckline of his t-shirt will allow him to go. He makes his way back up towards my ear and whispers, "Play me the song first."

At this point, I'm short of breath, but I nod and grab my phone from the coffee table, going to my voice memos.

"I would do whatever you wanted, we don't have to leave the apartment. Met you at the right time. This is what it feels like. And I need you sometimes. We'll be alright. Met you at the right time. This is what it feels like."

As the song plays, Austin's blue eyes stare at me in awe. Once the recording has ended he asks, "This is what what feels like? What is 'it'?" Despite the fake confused look on his face, I know he knows exactly what "it" is.

"Don't play dumb, Butler. It's just 'it.'" This brings a smile to his face as he moves toward me and continues what we started before.

It starts with just making out, until he's shirtless and I'm just in a bra. I stop him and pull him off the couch, leading him towards my bedroom.

***

Austin and I lay on our backs, breathing heavily and I'm speechless. I haven't had an orgasm that good since, well, ever. I don't even know what to say or if I'm even able to talk.

My thoughts are interrupted by his breathy voice, "You're so fucking sexy, Isla." He looks at me and I swear to god, those eyes will be the death of me.

"You're incredible, Austin," I breathe out, hardly audible.

He lets out a short laugh before saying, "You've never had a man put you first before?" He turns toward me, genuinely interested in my answer.

I turn toward him as well, "Not like that." We share a minute or two staring at each other, completely taking in this moment before I leave the bed to pee. No UTI's here please.

After using the bathroom, I peek my head out of the door to see Austin laying on my bed, covered by my sheets from the waist down. He's so beautiful. I only thought men could be handsome until I met him. He's gorgeous. His jawline and the way it clenches when he thinks, his eyebrows and the way they furrow when he's confused, his eyes and the way they look my body up and down, and his lips. I love how he's always playing with them, even when he doesn't notice. Right now he's biting down on his lower lip, probably thinking about something, but other times he'll pull on them with his fingers or wet them with his tongue. He's so gorgeous.

"Austin," I call and he turns his head towards me, pulled out of whatever thoughts he's having. "I'm hopping in the shower." He nods and I close the door, turn on the water to heat it up, and step in.

I hear a few knocks on the door. It opens with Austin's face behind it. "Mind if I join you?" He grins.

"Not at all," I invite him in. There's nothing sexual about the shower, just simply romantic. He rinses out my hair, making sure there's no soap left in it and massages my shoulders while rubbing soap on them. I rub my soap down his back and on his chest and giggle at the feminine scent he now has on his body. We're standing chest to chest, my head resting on his shoulder.

The sound of the water hitting the floor is interrupted by Austin lifting my chin towards his face with his index finger, and saying, "Isla. This is what it feels like."

My face grows into a smile, along with his. "This is exactly what it feels like, Austin."