what it feels like - Austin Butler

twenty - get out

I've been thinking about Austin and I's argument this morning and it's been biting at me, but I've tried my best to just shrug it off. During breakfast, the tension between us could be cut with a knife. After Austin helped me clean up my living room from last night, he headed home. My mom sent me an address to a nice restaurant near their home in Malibu, and I told Austin I'd pick him up around 6 pm, giving us enough time to be there by 7.

I'm not sure I'll be able to sit through this dinner with the interrogations from my parents and the recent awkwardness between Austin and I. I shouldn't have listened to my best friend, Olivia, and I should've been more cautious. Last night was everything I could've wanted but our perfect little bubble was popped this morning and I realized that I hardly knew anything about Austin. I'm not sure I should be jumping into a serious relationship so fast without knowing who he really is.

Either way, I need to get going. I search through my closet for an appropriate outfit, ending up on a classic all-black outfit, paired with black sunglasses, black boots, and a black purse. I hop in my car and start the 30 minute drive to Austin's house.

When I arrive, Austin comes out his front door. Goddammit. How can I be mad at him when he looks this good? He's wearing a simple black sweatshirt with some lettering, straight leg blue jeans, a black trench coat, and it's all tied together with the same brown boots he always wears.

As he hops in the car he immediately says, "You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad," I deflect his statement.

"You are. You're not answering my texts, I wasn't sure you'd even pick me up," he continues.

"Sorry. Must've been driving," I snap while pulling out of his driveway and beginning our 40 minute drive. This will be so much "fun".

"I sent them hours ago, you weren't driving, Isla," Austin accuses, his arm on the door of the car and his forehead resting in his hand.

After the majority of the drive has been spent in silence, I finally give him the truth, "So maybe I was mad, but I was overreacting. It's not a big deal."

"And I told you I'm sorry," he turns toward me, "Is this still about the Olivia thing?"

"The Olivia thing? It was a thing?" I'm glad I have the roof on the Cadillac today, so any people driving by don't catch us fighting.

This heats him up as he yells back, "Maybe it was a thing, Isla. I don't recall asking you about every man you've ever hooked up with." So they did fuck. I knew something was off from the minute he started talking about her.

Trying to stay as focused on the road as I can, I argue, "Because I don't sleep with the people I work with, Austin."

"Stop acting like you're so much better than me, at least I don't sleep with people who treat me like shit," he fires back. He went too far, way too far. He was one of the few people I opened up to about Chris and this is what he does with it? I need a minute to myself and luckily for Austin, we're only a block away from the restaurant.

"Fuck you, Austin." I pull the car over. "Get out."

"What the fuck, Isla? I didn't mean it. Can we please just talk?" He pleads.

I unlock his door and say, "Yeah, you can talk...with my parents and I at the restaurant just down there." I point to it. He gets out and I say, "7 o'clock sharp, don't be late," as I pull away, alone with my thoughts.

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hehehehhehe im evil