Wild Avalon

7

The whole evening after eating my small brook trout dinner I felt like something was off. I couldn't figure out what could be bothering me. Hilda wasn't affected or she didn't care about the strange feeling in the air. She told me I should just go to sleep, I was probably just tired. I disagreed. Since I couldn't articulate why, she ignored my feeling. Saying it was a human mind problem, not real.

Supper gone. Everything was cleaned and packed away again. I had nothing left to do or keep me up. Heading into the tent to try and get to sleep. Only to toss and turn on my bed roll. It wasn't late, and thanks to time zones it probably was before dinner time for mom. With a sigh, and feeling stupid for the amount of money I was about to waste I dug to the bottom of my pack. Dragging out the still nearly fully charged satellite phone.

Dialing the number that has always been the phone number to home. I waited for the call to pick up, the static crackling on the line as my call bounced to space before heading to my mom on the other side of the continent.

Even though I had heard the line ring several times before my mom's frantic voice answered, I had a feeling she had only heard one ring before picking up. I really hoped she hasn't been waiting by the phone for me to call this entire time. "Avalon? Baby is that you?" Her voice was strained and worried. Only enhancing the strange anxious knot that had already been in my head.

"It's me mommy. I'm more than half done my hike, I uhh," my voice stammering. I didn't know how to explain why I had called when I didn't really know the reason myself. "I just wanted to check in. How are you?" I lied, filling in the conversation.

"I'm ok Avalon, have you heard from Aaron?" Hardly any pain in my heart at the mention of his name. Mom needed to let him go just as much as I did apparently. 

"Mom, I don't have cell coverage here, I'm using the satphone right now to call you. Why would he even call me?" I asked, the panic feeling only getting stronger. Why on earth would she think he would try and contact me right now? I could hear a familiar sound, Mom was pacing. I could hear her bare feet on the kitchen floor. "Mom, what's wrong." She was being cagey. Something was off. Even Hilda was paying more attention now.

"It's not my place to say anything Avalon, he should tell you himself." Ice started to flow through my veins at her words.

I did not have the ability to deal with half truths and secrets right now. "Mom, what the fuck would Aaron need to tell me?" Hilda was still angry. Or else I would have never swore on a call with my mom. Aaron had broke my heart, he rejected me. He didn't get to keep me on a leash for him to keep toying with. We were done.

"Language young lady!" Mom admonished me for swearing. Only making me feel more anger rise in my heart. I did my best to overpower Hilda. 

"Mom." I said firmly, instead of tilting my head back to scream at the sky like I wanted to. I was an adult. I was a reasonable woman. I could manage my emotions and my beast. I was in charge.  Mom was muttering something, pacing faster. "Mom?" I said, all my strength gone. Something was actually wrong. 

Mom came to stop. I could tell she was at the sink, looking out the window of our current apartment. Tapping her foot on the floor, bumping against the cabinet. She took a deep breath, everything coming out all at once. "Avalon, Aaron's mate is dead, he's on the run. He-" there was a sharp crack across the line, followed by static and dead air.

"Mom? Mom!" I shouted into the bulky phone. Knowing the line had disconnected. I tried to call mom back, but the call wouldn't connect. No matter how many times I dialled the number.

It took all my self restraint to not hurl the stupid expensive and useless sat phone at the rocks in frustration. 'I told you we should have just gone to bed.'  Was the not helpful addition from Hilda. "I don't know what to think right now." I said aloud, in the dark, I wasn't sure if I was talking to myself or Hilda or no one at all.

'What your mom said doesn't matter. Aaron rejected us. Even if his mate is really dead, we are no one's second choice.'  Hilda was firm. I could feel her rage burning white hot. A stark contrast to the cold fear I felt.

I sat on my bed roll half thinking half meditating on the broken message form my mom. Trying to figure out how I felt. What might change for me if Aaron's mate really had died.

I hoped mom was wrong, that this was a big misunderstanding. I had probably screamed that I wished she was dead or that Aaron was dead the afternoon I caught them together. I couldn't remember exactly what had been said, only that I had never known such painful wrathful feelings before.

I hadn't meant it. If I said it. I didn't want it to happen. I had just been so hurt. If his mate had died, this was a tragedy. They had less than a month together, why would Aaron be on the run? I tried to methodically work through my feelings, just like I had been most mornings and evenings. Only this time I had new tangles to work through.

I eventually fell asleep, still not sure of anything, definitely not sure how I felt about the bomb mom had dropped. Hilda might be certain Aaron wasn't ours anymore, I was more confused now than when I had arrived. All my mental progress gone, washed away like a leaf floating down the brook with one phone call.