Reborn from Ash | Genshin Impact Fanfiction | Diluc Ragnvindr | Hiatus

Forty Two

Warning:
Mature Themes
Not Intended for Younger Audiences

"D-Diluc," I whisper out, scared of how unstable the man I'm holding is.

Any wrong more, any slip of the tongue, and he will go off like a bomb. So very careful I have to tread, worse than eggshells. One wrong move and I will set off a trap that will lead to my death, one in which will be excruciating and painful. How I wish I could just die in peace.

"Yes, my love?" he whispers back, his hushed breath tickling the lobe of my ear.

"I-I'm hung-hunger-hungry."

"Ah!" he tuts, "Of course. Let's get you a meal to eat. I'm so happy to be with you. I'm so happy you understand."

I understand nothing in you mind

There was something so odd about Diluc when he acts like this. He's almost carefree, unfeeling of anything that could be negative, almost like the childness he lost as he became an adult. Was this what he really is like? I can't tell. All I know is that he is messed up in his mind, something not right about him.

But I still care for him. Even after all this time, Diluc was still someone I cared about since I was a child. Do I love him like my other friends? Absolutely not. He threw away my emotions the second I heard his words from Eula. But does that mean I have to stop caring about him? Not really. I care about everyone, even those who hate me. Why? I couldn't answer. Maybe it was the hope that maybe, someday, they might change their mind I care about me.

Do I love Diluc? No. Do I like Diluc? No. Do I care about Diluc? Yes. I worry. I'm worried about him, worried about how he ended up like this. Something must have happened to make his this way.

He lost his father, never knew his mother, betrayed by his brother, was tricked and scammed by the Fatui, and was forced to bare the weight of his father's industry at the age of eighteen. Diluc. I know he has had a hard life. He has suffered just as much as the next man and maybe more, but that gives him no right to put his frustrations out onto someone else.

Maybe... If I was there for him, long ago, could he have been better than this?

...

...

...

..

.

No

There has been something wrong with Diluc since he was a child. I saw the way he looked at me when my brother was being laid underground. His dead stare. He wasn't staring at the casket or the hole or the dirt or the flowers, he was staring at me. It felt like he was unblinking the way he stared. Everyone else's expressions were solemn, sad, weary, but Diluc's? He didn't care. All he cared about was looking at me. His face was dead, emotionless but hollow, it was unnerving. How could an eight year old be so unfeeling, so unaware of everything around him?!

I'm afraid of Diluc, if I'm being honest. The way his personality changes with the drop of a hat is frightening. I heard him. He knows what he's doing is wrong but refuses to do anything about it because this makes him feel good?! He feels good off of me suffering?!

No. He does care about me, I know he does. But he cares about his own selfish desires more than what he claims to care about in a romance.

"(Y/n)? You're zoning out. Aren't you going to eat your food?" Diluc's voice fades into my static mind.

His voice. It sounds so innocent, so vulnerable, so weak, so scared, so worried, so-

"O-Oh. Sor-Sorry..."

Diluc gives me a gentle smile, one in which seems so out of place for a man like him. It's sweet, kind, warm, everything he's not.

"There's no reason to be sorry. Are you doing alright? I know everything is so chaotic, but I promise that I can help make things better."

No you can't

You only make things worse

"That's - That's - That's very kind of - kind - kind of y-you."

Diluc blush was anything but hidden. His cheeks were as pink as pig ready to be slaughtered. His mouth and lips were wobbly, trying his best to hide his very obvious smile.

"Th-Thank you, (Y/n)."

I must be going deaf. Was Diluc now the one to be stuttering? What an idiot. At least mine is natural, something I can't control. I though he was more dignified than that. Or, maybe I didn't. He is a bastard of man after all.

I give him a small smile, one that is weak and will break with the slightest breeze through the window.

The window?

Were the windows open?

I quickly turn my attention to the grand windows by his burning fire place to see the curtains fluttering inwards.

He left his windows open.

But I can't escape.

Not yet.

It would be all too easy for him to catch, realize that I was lying and hold me down in his dank, dark cellar where only dying wine is stored. He set this up as a trap, as a test to see what I would do.

"The wind is nice, isn't it? I though you could use a bit a fresh air. I understand we were both a bit emotional last night," he says with a smile, one of which is laced with sadistic intent. He knows.

How could I forget. Diluc is a man of brains, and I am nothing but a worthless idiot with not a single thought passing through the flesh of my mind. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. How foolish of me. How foolish of me.

"Yes... The wind is... nice."