Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Safe And Secure

The next morning, Bucky woke up on the edge of his headspace. Although for once he wasn't feeling like it was an inconvenience or something irritating. Y/n said that he could be little as much as he wanted on this trip, so he got out of bed and took a shower before leaning into the small feelings that took over. He was just big enough to remember that he needed a new pull-up, and he managed to get one on. But he didn't really want to put his day clothes on yet and thanks to his advanced hearing, he could hear his Uncle Steve in the kitchen making breakfast. He settled on pulling on one of his mama's sweatshirts, the really big one that came down to his mid-thigh and surrounded him with her scent whenever he wore it, and he grabbed a few comfort items before heading to the kitchen.

Steve was almost done with breakfast when he saw Bucky come wandering out of the bedroom. He was carrying his blankie and was sucking on his Captain America paci. Steve smiled at the sweatshirt that Bucky was practically drowning in, remembering how his sister had purposely bought it a few sizes too big. "Hey, soldier," he greeted the still sleepy little boy. The nickname made Bucky give a little smile behind his paci, coming to reach for Steve to pick him up and he happily did, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 'Soldier' had actually started as a nickname for Steve, given to him by his sister when they first met. Steve had jokingly referred to Bucky by it when he was little about a month ago, amused by the idea of such a 'little soldier' and Bucky had come to him later. He had shyly explained to Steve that he liked the name. It made him feel wanted and it was nice to have the word soldier associated with something other than the Winter Soldier. Ever since then, Bucky's uncles had been using the name and it never failed to make Bucky feel happy and loved when he was little.

Bucky rested his head on Steve's shoulder while he used his free hand to make him a plate of scrambled eggs. When they were ready, Steve sat him down at the table and Bucky reluctantly took his paci out of his mouth to eat breakfast. He ate quickly and as soon as he finished he picked up the soother and slipped it back into his mouth. Steve cleared Bucky's plate and picked him up again, taking him to the living room to get the fire going for the day. The little boy watched with wide eyes as Steve lit the fire and Bucky reached for him once it was lit.

Steve didn't hesitate to pick him up, carrying Bucky over to the big armchair by the window and sitting down with him to stare at the forest. "Uncle Steve?" Bucky asked quietly after a long time spent just holding on and staring out the window.

"Yeah, little soldier?"

"S'okay still, right? Okay Bucky's little?"

Steve could've cried at the uncertainty in his best friend's voice. After everything, Bucky was still scared, still so worried that Steve wasn't truly going to accept this fragile, vulnerable part of him. "Of course it's okay," he reassured him. "It's more than okay, Buck. I'm so proud of you, you know that?" Bucky looked up at him confused, and Steve gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You've had to be so brave, bubba. You let Y/n be your mama. You let Sam and I be your uncles. I can't imagine how scary it was for you to show us this part of yourself, but you still did it."

"Not annoying?" Bucky asked, hope shining in his eyes at the possibility that Steve didn't just put up with him, but actually wanted him around.

"Of course not," Steve said. But he could see the doubt that was clearly still present in Bucky's head. Steve took a deep breath. "You wanna know a secret?" Bucky tentatively nodded his head. "Sometimes I get really scared when you're little."

Bucky gave him a sad look. "Scared of Bucky?" He asked in a shaky voice, going to move out of Steve's arms. But much to his surprise the arms around him tightened, holding him in place.

"No, I'm not scared of you," Steve assured him. "I promise that's not what I mean." Bucky gave Steve a confused look. "I get scared because I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend and that's whether you're big or little. You took care of me and supported me for a very long time, kiddo. Now it's your turn to be cared for, and I really don't want to screw it all up."