Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Love Is Patient

"Steve-"

"He flinched!" Steve interrupted, fingers finding their way into his hair and tugging harshly at the short strands. "He flinched away from me and begged my sister to protect him." Tears burned in his eyes as he processed what had happened only minutes before.

Sam came to sit on the bed beside his partner, reaching out and gently pulling his hands away from his head. "I know Stevie," he whispered. "I saw."

A single tear made its way down Steve's cheek as he stared at Sam's face, silently pleading for a solution, for any escape from the hurt he was feeling. "I tried so hard." A sob ripped its way out of his throat. "I tried as hard as I could and it still wasn't enough."

Sam felt tears burning in his own eyes as he pulled Steve into his arms, rocking side to side while his partner sobbed into his shoulder. "It's not your fault," he said softly.

"But it is," he cried. "If I hadn't let him fall he never would've been captured. I failed him then and I've failed him now."

"Oh Stevie, you can't blame yourself for what they did to him. You did everything you could to understand him and show him he was loved." Sam pressed a kiss to his forehead, trying to convince his partner. He knew how much guilt Steve carried, and he'd do anything he could to lessen the burden. "You haven't failed him, he just needs Y/n right now. He needs to recover and process the new memories."

"We were his caregivers. He trusted us enough to let us take care of him at his most vulnerable and now I can't even touch him." Steve curled his body around his partner, trying to get as close as possible as if Sam could somehow make the pain he was feeling dissipate. "This isn't fair," he sobbed, tightening his grip on Sam's shirt.

"You're right; it's not fair," Sam murmured, holding Steve a little tighter. "It's not fair that she got to hurt him."

"I want to talk to her," Steve said, tears slowing as he thought about Sarkissian. "I want to make her pay." He sat up and wiped at his eyes. "Y/n is going to take good care of Buck, but someone has to make her pay."

"Not just her," Sam said, subdued anger lacing his words. "Those assholes in Disneyland need to be dealt with too." The edge in Steve's voice was familiar, although it wasn't a tone he heard often, and he knew exactly what it meant. They were on the same page.

"You're right. But I want answers first. How can you hurt someone that badly?" Steve asked, contemplating the terrified way that he had seen Bucky cling to his mama in desperate search of safety.

"Whatever the hell it is, she'll pay for it," Sam said coldly, standing up from the bed. Steve did the same, grabbing his coat from the bed and hesitating at the door.

"I don't think we should tell Y/n and Buck about this," he said. "They have enough to deal with right now."

"Agreed."

....................................

Y/n woke up in Bucky's bed and was pleased to see him sound asleep. He was on his stomach, hugging a pillow, and she let her mind wander while she watched over him. The night before had been difficult. Once Sam and Steve had left she had managed to calm him to the point that he could communicate, and he had pulled himself out of his headspace. She had a feeling that he was struggling to find peace while he was little like he had done before, but she knew better than to push. He'd tell her when he was ready, and she was more than willing to wait.

Bucky groaned in his sleep and adjusted himself, making his shirt ride up. She caught a glimpse of his lower back and gasped before she could stop herself. The exposed skin was raw to the point where it had definitely bled at one point and she had a feeling it was his own doing. He startled at the sound that she made and looked up at her with a confused, sleepy expression.