Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Acceptance

Bucky woke up at 3:00 am no longer in his headspace and when he felt his wet pull-up beneath him, he winced. He climbed out of bed and took a shower, changing into pajamas that weren't quite so babyish before getting back in the bed with Y/n. He tossed and turned for what felt like ages before letting out a frustrated huff. Y/n stirred next to him and he cursed himself for making too much noise.

"Why are you awake, sweetheart?" He heard her mumble from beside him.

"I don't know," he whispered. "But I can't sleep."

Y/n knew from the way that he was speaking (and the way that he didn't immediately rush into her arms when she woke up) that he wasn't little anymore. She also knew that he had trouble sleeping away from home and he was probably seeking some kind of reassurance. "What's on your mind?" She asked softly. "I know when something's bothering you."

Bucky let out a deep sigh. Why did she always have to see right through him? "We're gonna be driving for two days on the way to Disneyland. And I'm probably gonna be little for part of it."

"Okay? What's wrong with that?" Y/n asked. She was more than willing to look after him, and she knew that Sam and Steve didn't mind Bucky being little either.

"We'll be on the freeway," Bucky tried to explain. Y/n gave him a confused look and he realized that he'd have to be specific with her. "What if I have to use the bathroom? We both know I'm not good at holding it when I'm little and if I use the pull-ups there's nowhere to change. I really don't want a rash."

"Is that what's been bugging you tonight? The bathroom? Buck, I've got all of that under control," Y/n assured him. "If worse comes to worst and you don't make it, I'll make sure that you get changed and that I'm the only one that can see."

Bucky felt a small measure of relief at the fact that Y/n already had a plan, but there were still doubts in his mind. "Won't you be upset if I can't hold it? You're on vacation, I'm sure you don't want to be changing a clingy baby over and over for the next couple days."

"Hey, we've talked about this," Y/n said softly, reaching her hand out to caress his cheek. "I love taking care of you, it's not something that I feel obligated to do. I know you won't be able to hold it very long when you're regressed; you're just a baby. I'll be right there to change you when you need me."

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded his head. Y/n would never lie to him about something like this, not when she knew how delicate the topic was for him. "Thank you," he whispered.

"It's no big deal," Y/n responded. "Now what do you need to go back to sleep?"

"I'm big," he said quietly.

"You don't have to be little to get help and comfort, Buck," she reminded him. "What do you need?"

He turned over and was silent for a moment, clearly deciding whether it was worth asking for. "Can we, uh, you know..." he trailed off, thanking god that she couldn't see him blushing with his back to her. Words were too difficult and he settled on just scooching backwards a little bit, just enough that he got his point across.

Y/n didn't miss a beat. She wrapped an arm around his waist, tugging him even closer and he let out a deep sigh of contentment. "You're really warm," he whispered in a tired voice. Having her so close was making him sleepy again, probably because she made him feel so secure. "S'nice."

She laughed a little bit and Bucky felt the vibrations of her chest against his back. "Go back to sleep, Buck."

"M'kay," he mumbled out, finally falling back into a peaceful sleep.

When Bucky woke up again he had somehow managed to flip around in his sleep. His face was pressed into Y/n's chest and he flushed red when he felt her fingers running through his hair. How long had she been awake and stuck holding him?