Little Secrets, Little Bucky

It's Been A Long Time Coming

TW: There are references to EDs in this chapter. Nothing is referred to by name but it's very clear that's what it is. The next few chapters will be centered around Bucky's recovery. (Although first we get one more chapter of Bucky regaining his trust in his mama. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or concerns. You can comment anywhere in the book, message me, or email me at jbuckaroo17@gmail.com

We need to talk. My suite, 20 minutes.

Bucky stared at the text on his phone with growing horror. Those first four words felt like a death sentence.

"Bucky?" Sam got his attention from the training ring. "You're up man."

He shook himself out of his own head and made his way over to where he was supposed to be training. "I gotta go after this round."

"Everything okay?" Nat asked, frowning at the anxiety on his face.

"Fine, I've just got some paperwork I forgot I needed to submit. Fury's gonna have my ass if I don't get it done."

The round was over faster than usual due to Bucky's distracted state of mind. He couldn't stop thinking about what Y/n needed to talk to him about and before he knew it Steve had pinned him to the floor. He took the fastest shower of his life and headed to Y/n's suite, anxiety making his heart race.

Before long he was sitting on Y/n's couch, playing with his fingers as he waited for the worst. Was she going to leave? Did she not want to be his mama anymore? He sure wouldn't blame her.

"Alright," Y/n started, sitting down on the other side of the couch. "I just want to start by saying I'm not angry at you. I'm really worried, but I'm not angry." Bucky took a deep breath in, trying and failing to calm his nerves. "I need you to answer me honestly okay?"

"Okay," Bucky forced out, doing his best to appear collected.

"Why haven't you been eating?"

Bucky felt the floor drop out from underneath him. No. Oh god please no. She was never supposed to know about that. It was supposed to be his secret. He felt anger surge through him in response to the fear, walls snapping up as he stood from the couch.

"I'm not doing this with you." He said coldly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Buck please," Y/n pleaded, standing to follow him. "I've been watching, I've been paying attention. You're starving yourself."

"No, I'm not!" Bucky snapped. "You don't know what I can take! I'm fine!"

"No, you're not!" Y/n argued back, matching his angry tone. "Stop lying to me and just tell the truth!"

"Fuck off," Bucky gritted out, heading for the door.

"Bucky stop!" Y/n shouted, wincing at her own tone of voice. He turned around, frozen in place. She took a deep breath before setting a boundary that she knew would prove how serious this situation was. "You can either talk to me, and get better at home, or I can report you to Shield and you'll have to get better in a facility." She watched as his face changed from anger to fear. "I will not watch you waste away any longer. I love you too much to let you do this to yourself. You don't have to let me in, but you have to let somebody in."

"You wouldn't report me," Bucky forced out, trying to push through the tears in his eyes. "I know you wouldn't."

"Are you sure about that? Because I would do anything to make sure you were safe," Y/n responded. "You know as well as I do that there's no limit to how far I would go to make sure you were alright. It's okay if you don't want me to help you, but you have to let somebody in."