08. the grief

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THE STEPS trembled, and the heart dismal. She blinks twice as the iron gates come into her view. It's been years she has been here, eons she has been felt like that, like home.

Her home was lost, or perhaps it was never hers.

She gulps the bitter truth.

Kuheli had known the pain of losing, but when she got her heartbreak, she was lost. Her heart was broken, her soul was shattered, herself was succumbed, somewhere, everywhere.

Her beloved had left her, and her home was lost.

That was the last day she look at this house, the last day she crossed the premises of the Bakshi residence, the last day and it was the same. She was here for Sheuli that day, and today was no different.

When she got the call from her father, she knew she has to come. Her father was with them since the time they were in the hospital, something that seems normal.

Ashish Ghosh and Sujoy had been old friends, they had been like family to them. So tonight when she drives her cry towards the familiar lanes of Bidhan Sarani, she knew this was coming.

They need her today.

Maybe they don't.

A small voice screams in her head but then she puts it shut. They maybe don't need her but she needs to be there.

Sheuli was never good with losses, the last time she didn't even mourn. The last time, even the thought of it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth and a stabbing pain in her heart.

So much was lost the last time.

She blinks her tears and steps inside the house. Her eyes are filled with memories, ears echoes with waves of laughter, and the soothing feel engulfs her with open arms.

She blinks once, twice and it was lost again.

The silence welcomes her and she walks further inside.

Durjoy was the first one she saw, he was sitting in the farthest corner of the shador Ghar (Hall) with some extended relatives scattered around but no one goes to him. No one dares to. Durjoy's temper was known to all and right now is not a time to talk with him. But she did.

She felt many eyes upon her but she walks to him anyway and squatted by the side of his chair. His white panjabi has wrinkles, so unlikely of him. But then again, he had been the closest to his brother, a brother he had lost not even twenty-four hours back.

She holds his hands and that made him open his eyes. She bites her lips to control her sobs and he shakes his head.

"Sujoy was a good brother Kuhu" she nods as he says this.

"He wasn't good at many things, but he was a good brother. I..." She saw him gulp then blink and then lone falling from his left eye.

He rests his head back and kept his eyes closed again.

For maybe in years, she had seen Durjoy Bakshi on the loss of words. And this left her in tears.

She walks towards the kitchen, the place she knew she would find her and she did.

_____

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