I got Montana back in bed, sitting with her as she talked about her soccer team and how none of them had even texted her.
"They probably just feel awkward-" "well that makes me feel sad." She spoke, making me nod.
"I know, I'm sorry." I told her calmly, kissing her forehead gently.
She exhaled, glancing around the room.
"Do you think one day you and I can leave? Like go see the city?" She asked me calmly.
"I'm sure" I mumbled back to her.
"We can talk to Luke about it and see what he thinks."
I knew she was probably getting some cabin fever, so I didn't blame her for wanting to see the town.
Soon Luke joined us to check in.
"How was the walk?" He asked calmly
Montana.
Noah got into his phone just as Luke entered
"It was good" i hummed, seeing him smile.
"Good, you can do those as often as you want, just let a nurse know before." He told me calmly, making me nod in agreement.
I watched as he read over a few things on his iPad
"So tomorrow is your last day of chemo for this week" he spoke calmly.
"Why?" I asked slowly, knowing we were supposed to do it for five days straight before determining anything.
"Well- Friday we are going to do all of your scans and blood work, just to see if we have progressed far enough to do surgery, which we think we have." He told me calmly.
I nodded slowly.
He sat on the edge of my bed with me, making me cross my legs so that he had more room.
"So you're aware that with this surgery, we are taking out one of your two ovaries, meaning that majorly decreased your chances of having kids in the future-" "what?" I shot to him immediately.
I was never aware of that.
"Your charts indicate that other doctors told you-" "no, they told me" Noah spoke.
"And you didn't think to tell me that?" I asked him slowly.
"It wouldn't have changed anything, tana" he spoke as he sat in a chair, looking to me.
I blinked towards him.
"Noah- I was never aware that an entire ovary would be gone because of this-" "a seventeen year old shouldn't have to worry about this, so I didn't tell you. It doesn't eliminate all of the chances to eventually have a baby, but it doesn't change anything at this point regardless, because you are seventeen and not even thinking about having babies and you are doing this because it's the only way to keep you alive." He spoke quickly and firmly.
"Did you seriously just say that a seventeen year old shouldn't have to worry about any of this?" I laughed towards him, seeing him rub his face, exhaling.
"Yes montana- I don't want you to have to worry about this anymore than you already do-" "I'm living it, Noah." I felt my voice crack, seeing Luke shift awkwardly.
"I understand Montana, but regardless, you knowing or not knowing that information would not have changed anything, because I am not letting you risk your life over possibly not being able to have children in the future."
I nodded slowly.
"So" I laughed out lightly.
"Since you're taking an entire ovary, does that not impact my periods? My hormones?" I asked Luke slowly.
"It will, yes. We will most likely have to put you on a hormone supplement so that you have your normal amount of hormones."
"Were you aware of that?" I shot towards Noah.
"I'm sure I was." He spoke firmly.
"So now I'm just curious as to how much you know about what's going on with my body, that you didn't tell me." I spoke to him, seeing him rub his face.
"Montana, I only didn't tell you things that I knew would stress you out or scare you-" "wrong" I laughed to him.
"I have been fucking terrified this entire time, so don't use this as an excuse for me to not be scared."
"Okay." Luke spoke firmly, making us both look to him.
"Your blood pressure is getting high, which we don't need." I spoke towards me.
"How about you two separate from each other for about thirty minutes, just to cool off." He proposed, glancing between us.
"I'll take a walk." Noah spoke, standing to leave the room.
"Okay" Luke exhaled once he was gone.
"Is there anything I can do-" "is there anything else that is going to happen to me after this surgery that I don't know about?"
So he calmly talked me through every side effect I'll get from chemo or any surgeries that I have.
There was a lot of risks, but none that would make me completely stop fighting the cancer, which I knew of what kept Noah from telling me everything, he didn't want me to stop.
"How hard is the surgery to recover from?" I asked him slowly.
"It's pretty bad" he nodded slowly.
"And it won't help that you'll be on chemo almost immediately after." He admitted to me.
"Well, thank you for being honest."
