After Her Love

16. The moment of truth

Iiris' PoV

What if I just left and never returned? Right now I have the opportunity to do it. I had all the needed documents with me and I didn't even need any of the things I had back at home, I could just buy new ones wherever I decided to go. I could block Rauli's number and all his social media accounts, change my name and look so he had no chances to find me. All those ideas sounded so fucking good yet he had a chain around my neck, pulling me back home. Powerless. I felt so powerless. Sighing, I put the half eaten croissant back on the plate, reached for the coffee mug and brought it up to my lips. The hot liquid made me feel warm inside and the warmth reminded me a little of the hug Aleksi gave me when I showed him my bruises. Maybe the way I came clean to him wasn't the best way but I didn't know any other way to do it. Telling it with words would have been too difficult for me so I was okay with the way I did it, although it might have been a little shocking for Aleksi, or that's what I figured from his expression. The most important thing was that it was out now and I could start thinking how to move on.

I didn't hurry back to the hotel even though the bed was calling for me and I really just wanted to bury myself under the blanket and just hide myself from the World. Instead, I ordered myself another cappuccino and sipped it while watching out from the window. My mind was creating all different kinds of scenarios of what could possibly happen if I decided to move to Aleksi's place or if I decided to stay home. None of those scenarios were good and it frightened me. What if it really turns out terrible and Rauli is going to hunt me down? What if something happens to the girls, especially to Robyn who had another life growing inside of her? What if I ruin everything these guys have been building up all these years? Am I ready to risk their lives because I want to escape mine?

My mind was even messier than it was before and the moment I landed my body back on the bed, the expected relief did not hit me at all. I was more nervous than I was before and the knock on my door did not make the situation any better. Groaning, I stood up and walked to the door, not really rushing. I was sure it would be Aleksi but to my surprise it was not.

"Hey..." Robyn smiled and held her hands on her stomach. She was wearing a black coat and had her bag hanging on her shoulder so I figured that she was either going somewhere or coming from somewhere, but what I couldn't think of was the reason why she was behind my door. We didn't talk that much last night, at least not as much that I could call us friends or something like that, she was still pretty much a stranger to me.

"Umh.. Hi.." I leaned against the doorframe and looked at the woman with a rather confused expression.

"Me and the girls are going shopping so I thought I'd ask if you want to join us... ?" She smiled a little and I peeked to the corridor where I saw Miryam, Pauline and Yasmin. The girls waved as they saw me looking at them so I tried to smile back at them.

"Thanks for inviting me but.. I'm not really feeling like going anywhere right now.. " I sighed and looked at the floor. Yes, it was nice of her to invite me but I honestly wasn't in a mood to spend time with anyone. I was embarrassed by what they saw yesterday, the way I reacted because of some drunken asshole, and stealing Aleksi for the whole night so that I would feel safer. It was all just too much for me now.

"Oh.. Okay.. How are you feeling... ?" She asked carefully after noticing that I hadn't looked up for a while now. I bit my lip and sighed. They were included into this now too, although they didn't know what I was hiding underneath my clothes, they probably had put the puzzle together. The way I reacted last night ruined my whole cover so they all knew now that whatever Aleksi's suspicions were in the first place, were correct.

"I'm ok.." I wasn't completely honest but stress and worrying wasn't good for Robyn right now. She probably had enough things to think and worry about, she did not need to worry about me too.