After Her Love

21. Silent moments

Iiris' PoV

The remaining day was carried on with quite weird vibes. We were both drunk, had a food coma because of the cupcakes, and Rilla was looking at us confused. My stomach was already hurting and Aleksi was complaining about the same.

"Fucking rum made me do this..." It was so easy to blame the white liquid for overeating but both me and Aleksi knew that it was all because of the emotions.

"Yeah... But these are good.." Aleksi said and reached for another cupcake, not giving a damn that just a moment ago he swore to not eat them anymore. I laughed quietly and stood up from the sofa. My head was spinning and my throat was screaming for water, so I turned on the tap and placed my glass under it. For some time I managed to forget my phone but once I placed the glass into the sink and turned around again, my eyes met the device that was still on the counter, right where I had put it after Aleksi gave it back to me. Part of me wanted to check if there were any new messages but the other part felt good not knowing about them. The alcohol probably encouraged me to just keep on ignoring them but the sober side of me was more scared of Rauli's reactions. After staring at the phone for a moment I decided just to leave it there and continue whatever I was doing now. The only problem was that I had no idea what to do now because the rum was gone and I was already feeling a little sick because of it and the cupcakes.

"So... " Obviously my plan did not include all of this on my first day here but I also never thought I would end up here anyway so the little confusion in the middle of all of this was acceptable.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Aleksi reached for the remote and switched on the TV. I shrugged my shoulders and sat next to him.

"If you have something good in mind." I lifted my legs up on the sofa and on the same second Rilla decided to join us. She rested her head on my legs and Aleksi rested his left hand over her small body. Rilla seemed to like that and she closed her eyes and soon we already heard her snoring.

"She feels comfy." Aleksi smiled while scrolling on Netflix. It took a while for us to decide what to watch but for some very unknown reason, we ended up watching Shrek. No clue why, but it felt like the right decision after all the rum.

Most of the movie we just laughed because there were so many moments that our drunken brains found hilarious. But still, every once in a while, my thoughts went back to Rauli and Susanne. How could she not believe me? I sent her the video of my bruises, I opened up to her, told her my most painful secret and she just did not believe me. What if Rauli was being abusive towards her, too? Not physically but emotionally. Could he be so twisted that he abuses his own sister? No. He wouldn't. And the way Susanne acted around him was also showing the exact opposite. They were close and of course I was now the bad one, trying to turn her against her own brother.

"What are you thinking?" Aleksi suddenly asked and paused the movie. I hadn't paid attention to it for the past few minutes and Aleksi seemed to notice that.

"Susanne..." I sighed and played with the hem of my shirt. Honestly, I wanted to cry but I had no more tears left. I felt so helpless without my best friend, she has been there for me all these years but now when I need her the most, she just... Turns her back at me.

"I'm so sorry for that... I really thought she would understand.." Aleksi said and his lips were curved down.

"Yeah, well... I guess I kinda always knew that she would choose her brother if I ever had the courage to tell her.. And I had the right feeling about it.. I just... I just can't believe she really did that... After everything I have done for her.. Being there for when she got pregnant, was depressed... Got beaten up because I stayed late at her's.. It feels like I did that all for nothing.. She just.. Turns her back at me and now I'm so fucking scared to even walk out that door because I'm having a paranoid that they will find me here..." I hugged my knees and supported my chin on them. Aleksi stayed quiet for a moment. Maybe he was already regretting for taking me in because all I did was complaining about my fucked up life. And it has only been one day.