After Her Love

24. Friend zoning

Iiris' PoV

Like my mind wasn't already a hell of a mess then the girls managed to add just another twist into the whole situation, and that was the crush Aleksi was allegedly having towards me. I had my doubts about it, we barely knew each other properly. I mean, he did know a lot about me because I basically cried all my life to him but still, this definitely was not the place for a new relationship.

The whole ride home felt so awkward now, from my side especially. Aleksi probably had no clue what the girls told me and I did my best to just push it all away from my head because I just could not handle it. It was hard to come up with a topic to talk about and it was weird because previously it was not an issue. Aleksi did ask a few times if I was ok since I was so quiet but I just dodged the question with a smile and told him I was just tired. I was tired, to be honest, I was already crying after my bed and I could not wait to hide from the World. But there was no way I would tell Aleksi what I heard because I did not want to get any hopes up, not mine and not his. Any other girl would probably feel over the Moon right now but I felt the total opposite. I did like him though, he is handsome, well mannered, caring, pretty much everything Rauli was not but I could not let that get into me. I could not just jump from being a complete mess to a relationship without knowing what I even wanted. Meeting Aleksi happened probably at the worst time ever but on the other hand he showed up into my life just at the right time. This was all just too complicated right now.

Aleksi parked his car in the driveway and we got out. The air outside was quite cold so I wrapped my arms around my body and fastened my steps towards the door. Aleksi pretty much did the same and when he finally got the door open, Rilla stormed out, as a sign that she needs to have her evening walk.

"Okay.. hold a sec.. " Aleksi sighed and went to get the leash.

"I won't be long." He then smiled at me as he passed me again and walked to Rilla who was now jumping up and down. I just nodded and closed the door behind me. After that, I took my shoes and jacket off and went to the kitchen to make myself one more cup of hot tea. While the kettle was boiling I went to remove my makeup.

"What if I am making a huge mistake here...?" I whispered to my reflection but it did not answer. It looked at me with the exact same, confused, worried and tired face as I was looking at it. In my heart I knew that I should not take any of those small rumors about Aleksi having a crush on me too seriously. There was literally nothing in me that would make me interesting enough for him. I was nothing compared to the other girls, they were all so pretty and had great style and I felt like just a plain Jane.. I was nothing compared to Robyn.. It was not healthy to even think this way but looking at her it made me really clear what type of women Aleksi liked and I was far from that. My confidence and everything has been stamped on the ground for years, I am literally afraid to trust anyone or even go out to have drinks because of everything that happened. Why on earth would Aleksi even want someone like me?

With a deep sigh I removed the remaining makeup and went back to the kitchen. Just when I poured the water into a cup, Aleksi and Rilla came back in.

"Fuck it's cold... " Aleksi rubbed his palms against each other while he walked to the kitchen. He noticed that I had just made a tea so he checked if there was enough hot water to make one for himself too. Once he was confirmed, he took out a cup, put a teabag into it and poured some hot water into the mug. I kept on sitting quietly, sipping my tea.

"Did you have fun tonight?" He then asked while sitting across from me behind the table.

"Yeah... " My voice came out more quietly than I thought it would and it confused Aleksi.

"But..?" He asked and frowned. I put the mug on the table and tried to figure out a small white lie to say so I would not accidentally tell him what the girls told me and how it just made my life a little more harder and my heart ache even worse.