all the stars | sonny carisi svu

chapter sixty-eight [sonny]

TW: LOSS

"liv!" i ran onto the scene. "what's going on? i just heard. is she okay? is she alive?" 

my voice broke with every word i asked.

"ella is a very strong woman, and if anyone can survive a gunshot wound, we both know that she can." 

i sniffed. "yeah, you're right, you're right." 

olivia hugged me immediately as tears ran down my face.

i then spotted the emt's taking her into the ambulance. 

"i gotta go. i gotta get to her. i gotta get to hospital."

at that point, i ran to the ambulance i could see her being loaded in just praying she would be okay.

as well as our unborn child.

~

i was in shock. i couldn't imagine how my wife was feeling.

"mr. carisi, your wife has had a complete miscarriage."

"what does that mean? is she going to be okay? do you need to operate?"

our doctor shook her head to my last question. "no. her body passed it all on her own, which is why there was so much blood."

"what could have caused this? we saw you two days ago and you said the baby was healthy." i say.

"anything could happen in the first trimester of the pregnancy. miscarriage is always a high risk, unfortunately. her body was put under a lot of stress in the last couple of hours. that could be one of the reasons, but there also may be a hundred others."

i wanted to scream. curse. i don't know, throw something.

"your wife is a perfectly healthy woman besides that. yes, she did have some complications with her first pregnancy, but that's no indication that future ones will be like that."

"she just can't catch a break." i sigh.

"i'm truly sorry, mr. carisi. for everything." she said.

i nod.

"you asked me before if she's going to be okay." she then continued. "physically, she will be okay. emotionally, you need to be there for her more than ever these next few weeks. you're both going through this, but she needs you and your daughter more than ever."

"listen doc, she went through the worst of it all. i just watched. she went through so much in the last year and a half, hell her whole life. this is about her, not me. and i swear doc, i will be there for my wife during this time, and every time after that."

"judging from what i know about you two, i have no doubt about it." she says before walking away.

i put my head in my hands.

what the fuck.

as i was about to head back my wife's room, where olivia was with her currently when i heard so many footsteps at once.