My baby girl

Chapter 4: Clingy pt one

It's been a few days and Toni has been clingier than normal.

I'm thinking maybe since I've started breastfeeding her, it's caused her to fall deeper into headspace. Like the newborn stage.

Last night was kind of hard in a way because I couldn't get Toni to go to bed.

Every time I tried to put her down, she cried and each time I would pick her up.

I was trying to get her back into the habit of sleeping in her crib, but she won't.

I know that sometimes she doesn't like being by herself, but I'm also trying to get her to understand that with me she's safe.

Her version of that is her being under me 24/7, which I don't mind, I think it's cute.

I just need her to sleep in her crib some nights, so I can get work done.

Toni's bedtime is at seven thirty and right now it's eight thirty...

"Toni baby, it's time to go night night" I say in a calming voice. Of course she just looked at me confused.

"She has no idea what you said" Veronica says with a small laugh.

"Stop laughingggggg" I whine. "This has been happening every night this week" I add with a huff.

"You said she's in her newborn headspace right?" she asked. "Yea?" I reply.

"Okay well most newborns are up all night. You need to get her and yourself on the same schedule" she says.

"But I already have her on one" I say.

"No, you have her 1-2 year old headspace on one. Not her newborn one" she says.

I just huffed and looked at Toni and she's just suckling away on her pacifier.

"Try feeding her and see if she falls asleep" Veronica suggested.

I did just that and she drank for a little while and soon she actually fell asleep. I was really relieved, but I'm also exhausted and tired myself.

"Question" Veronica says giving me her full attention.

"Hm?" I say turning to her.

"Ok, so I know you have Toni and all...but would you still consider having a baby?" she asked.

I could tell she was very serious about her question by the way she looked me in the eyes.

I stared at her for a moment with a sad but shocked expression.

I say sad because I have Toni now and really, I just haven't thought about having a baby anymore since I've found Toni in that alley.

"Sorry. I know that was random. It's just been a huge thought" she says.

"Thought?" I questioned with a confused expression.

"Well... yeah" she says trying her best not to make eye contact with me.

"Veronica, are you okay?" I ask getting kind of concerned.

"Ugh.. yeah I'm great" she replies looking down at her hands.

Veronica is hiding something.. Sooner or later I'll find out. She played with her hands in a very nervous way.

"Um.. Cheryl?"

"Yeah?"

"I have something that I want to tell you and have been wanting to tell you for some time now" she says still looking down at her hands.

I take my hand and gently lift her head up so she can look at me. "Veronica, you know it's rude to not look at the person you're talking to"

"Sorry.. I'm... just nervous, yeah"