My baby girl

Chapter 11: Toni comes out of headspace

It's currently ten in the morning and while I was getting ready to make breakfast, I looked at the baby monitor and noticed Toni tossing and turning a lot so I went to go get her.

When I got to her room she was standing in her crib with a pout on her face holding her hands out to me.

"Aw baby what's wrong?" I asked in worry and she just laid her head on my chest.

We went downstairs and I sat on the couch to try and comfort her a little and eventually she looked up at me.

By the specific look she gave me, I could tell she came out of headspace. Which she has never done before.

"What's wrong my love?" I asked.

"What made you take me in?" she asked and my eyes went wide because that's one hell of a question to ask considering what she's been through in the past.

"Well I've always wanted to be a mom and on plenty occasions before you, I practiced parenting a lot and after finding you in the alley at the state you were in just made my heart ache. I had to make it my business to get you the care you needed and within that time I felt so connected to you as if you were my child. That being said I couldn't let you go into foster care, I filed to adopt you. Toni you were in a state that could've killed you all because of your parents neglect" I truthfully said.

She nodded and then asked "You're not going to send me back are you?" and I responded "Never in a million years would I ever send you back to that dreadful place. No child deserves to go through what you went through. It's not right whatsoever. As long as I am breathing on this earth, you will never ever go back to them" and with that she cried.

Toni grew up around nothing but horrific abuse by her parents and I truly hate that for her. Her childhood was taken from her the minute she was born. If it weren't for me who knows what would've happened to her. She was literally in an alley all by herself with her parents nowhere to be found. She could've been seriously hurt.

I whispered "everything's gonna be okay, you're with me now" to Toni as I wiped her tears away.

I hate to see my baby cry. She's still recovering and I'm here every step of the way.

To calm her down a bit I had put some cartoons on for her and she peacefully watched them. She was of course still out of headspace and I was okay with that.

"Are you hungry, my love?" I softly asked

She slowly nodded while still being focused on the tv and I smiled sitting her down and going into the kitchen.

I looked around and came to realization that since Toni is not in headspace, this would be the perfect time to ask what she really likes to eat.

I walked in the living room and said "you want to come to the kitchen with me?" she was so into the tv that she didn't even hear nor notice me.

"Toni..." I said and she sorta jumped and I felt so bad. She's so innocent and tiny. It's really cute.

"I'm sorry, Mommy didn't mean to startle you"

I've gotten so used to saying that, that I didn't even notice I said it until her cheeks were flushed and I gave her a small smile.

"It's okay sweetheart, in headspace or not you're still my baby girl. Now, would you be able to tell me what you like to eat"

She looked at me confused and then said "I never had the option to have favorite foods. I was always forced to eat things I didn't like and if I didn't eat, I would be punished or starved" she said beginning to cry.

Hearing her words hurt a lot and it hurt even more that I made her cry asking such a thing.

I picked her up and sat on the couch patting her back and whispering "It's going to be okay. I'm sorry for asking you that"

She cried for a little while and eventually the crying stopped and I heard nothing but tiny light snores.

Since she fell asleep, I just decided to take her upstairs to mine and Veronica's room and take a nap with her.

Well I tried to nap, but hearing her words really had me thinking a lot about how her parents really were to her.

The poor girl doesn't even have a favorite food because her parents were too busy abusing her.

I hope I never see them in person.

After about an hour, Toni woke right back up and looked at me saying "thank you for caring for me".

Hearing those words made my heart melt and I replied "forever and always" while placing a kiss on her forehead.

Moments after she started fiddling with my shirt and at that moment I realized she fell right into headspace.

Of course she started with a whine indicating she wanted to be fed.

I did just that and eventually we were both knocked out cold.