R&D

Chapter 12

Roshi was at her locker talking to Peyton and Belle when Dev came up to them. Hey, he said. Roshi turned her back to him and moved books around in her locker to make herself look busy. Dev turned to Peyton and Belle. I'm Dev, he said to them. We know, Peyton said politely.

There was an awkward silence as the girls looked at each other. Finally Belle spoke up. Nice meeting you, she said as she and Peyton left. Dev stood more closely to Roshi. Are you okay, he asked. Sure, she said. There was a silence. Are you annoyed at me, he asked. Yep, she said. She shut her locker door. And you know why, she said as she walked away.

At Calc Roshi stood in the hallway and watched as Mr. Cook walked into the room. She waited until she saw Dev walk in, then walked in herself. I didn't see you at lunch, he said. We went off-campus, she said. Before Dev could say anything else the bell rang and class started.

At the end of class Dev tried to talk to Roshi again but she spoke up first. I'm really busy today so I can't study with you, she said. Roshi don't avoid me, he said. I'm not, she said, I just have a lot to do and it'll probably be really late before I'm done.

As she was walking out, Dev called out to her. How am I supposed to get home, he asked. You have like a million friends you'll figure it out, she said. As she left the class she recognized her immaturity in the situation knowing nothing would get resolved if they didn't talk about it, but at the same time she thought maybe it'd be good for her and Dev to have some space. 

She was back to being annoyed with him which kept her urges at bay. Roshi was reading her Lit book that night, but was getting bored so she pulled out her phone and started watching videos on YouTube. She got a text from Dev.

Are you awake?

She debated on ignoring it and just letting him think she had went to sleep.

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Dev was in his room studying when he saw a video call come in from Roshi. He was surprised as he answered the call. Hey, he said. Hi, she said. There was an awkward silence, then Roshi spoke up. You texted me, she reminded him. Yeah, texted, I didn't plan for a video call, he said. I can hang up, she said. No, no, he said.

Are your parents going to hear, he asked. She pointed to her bluetooth headset in her ear. It's not that I didn't want to last night, he started. I was just overthinking it, he said. Overthinking what, she asked.

This just isn't how I pictured this, he said. I wasn't supposed to be in a cast, my friend shouldn't have just died, we didn't need to sneak into cars just to get some privacy. It's all so messed up, he said.

Yeah, she said agreeing with him. There was a pause. What did you picture, she asked. Dev went on to tell her.

I pictured your parents being okay with us so we could actually be together. I pictured you coming to parties with me and hanging out with my friends, and me hanging out with your friends. I pictured going to movies and holding your hand, and going to fancy restaurants where we'd dress up and I could get you flowers. He sighed.

Roshi had no idea he was such a romantic. She'd never thought about their relationship in that context. Like he said, they weren't really "together" from a traditional standpoint since her parents wouldn't let her date. So going to movies, fancy dinners, hanging out at parties --- none of that crossed her mind.

She started to feel really gross. She was just treating Dev like some hot play toy that made her feel good. She wasn't treating him like a person. What are you thinking, he asked. I'm thinking how gross I am, she said. I've been treating you horribly, she said lowering her voice. No you haven't, he said.