R&D

Chapter 20

Roshi ended up sleeping in the upstairs bedroom, or attempting to sleep anyway. Dev called back a total of 7 times before giving up. Roshi just laid awake wondering what just happened and how they got to this point.

She wondered if she should tell her parents about what happened. She'd have to eventually. Even though she told Dev she wanted a break, she really just meant she wanted to break up. But saying it that way felt so final she couldn't bring herself to do it.

It's like when her parents got a wedding invitation from a girl in the Indian community and six months later a mass email went out saying the wedding had been "postponed". In reality it was cancelled as the bride and groom broke up, but saying "postponed" maybe eased the pain.

Roshi was mad at herself for falling for Dev. She never really wanted this in the first place. She always knew they were nothing alike and wanted different things in life. Their personalities were so different. She was content settling down in Utah forever being close to her family and friends, as long as she got to travel.

Dev didn't want to be in a small city. He constantly talked about Houston and how there was so much more to do there than in Salt Lake. He wanted to live in a big, fast-paced city where there was constantly something to do and people to see. If she was really thinking about it she knew they had an expiration date, she just figured it would be graduation.

Dev said he'd go to the University of Utah to be close to her, but once he saw all of his friends getting into fancy schools around the country he'd start to feel like a "loser" for going to a public university close to home. People like him don't do that.

As she was thinking about college Roshi realized something that might have just made these last six months with Dev worth it. She fell asleep, pleased with herself.

The next morning she was eating breakfast with her mom, brother and grandmother when she just blurted it out. I'll break up with Dev, she said. Her mom immediately looked panicked at the mention of Dev and turned to her own mother. Roshi rolled her eyes. Ammumma can't understand English, Roshi said. Her mom realized this was true as Roshi's grandmother continued to eat having no idea what they were talking about.

Good, finally, her mom said. You didn't understand me, she started. I said, I WILL break-up with Dev, she said, if you agree to something. What, her mom said too eagerly giving away her cards. Roshi knew she could ask for anything in the world right now and her mom would probably agree to it. And whatever her mom agreed to, her dad would then agree to as well.

If you let me to go to whatever college I want, she said. Her mom wasn't expecting that. She probably wished Roshi just asked for a car. We can't afford, Mrs. Kumaran started but Roshi interrupted. I'll get scholarships and if I have to, I'll get student loans to pay for the rest, she said.

Mrs. Kumaran debated on this. Anywhere, she asked. Yes, Roshi said sternly, anywhere. I need to ask Appa, but, that should be okay, Mrs. Kumaran ultimately said. Okay, Roshi said. Roshi internally smiled at her con. Of course she had already broken up with Dev the night before, but her mom didn't need to know that.

There were 3 weeks left in the India trip before they'd go back to the U.S. Roshi would randomly get sad or down at times, thinking about Dev. Her relatives would notice and ask what was wrong, but her mom kept playing it off like she was just homesick.

Dev made sure she didn't forget about him so he texted every day. But it was never actually a text. It was always a photo or video or article. Not random though. It was always related to something he knew Roshi would like.

At first it would be pictures of exotic locations or a link to a music video by an artist she liked. But as the days went on the daily check-ins got more meaningful. One was a Van Gogh painting Roshi swore she only mentioned once in passing that she liked, and somehow Dev remembered.