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Chapter Eleven: Do Better

Houston, Texas
June 8th
Onika Tanya Maraj

I was out here making moves for the sake of my relationship. Maybe Beyoncé wouldn't see it now, but I knew it was what she didn't see that actually mattered. She had me putting in man hours like I was a damn construction worker or something.

"I never thought I would be sitting across from you again, especially after the conversation I had with Beyoncé."

"You did that on purpose. You wanted her to break up with me before, I know you want her to break up with me now."

"Do you know me to lie? I didn't come to her, she came to me, and she had a million questions."

"And you couldn't talk to me before?"

"Onika, no. She had questions for me and I answered them."

It didn't really matter. The logistics of her meeting with Beyoncé didn't matter.

I shook my head, "Doesn't matter Noir—"

"The two of you breaking up?"

"We already broke up."

Her excitement scared me. If she thought Beyoncé leaving me meant I was going to run into her arms, after all the conversing and crying and hurtful truth we'd shared, Noir was very wrong.

"I came to break up with you, indefinitely this time."

"Really?"

"I want my wife, I want to be her wife, and I know that means letting you go. May it be as a friend of whatever."

She sat back, but I continued.

"Noir I genuinely don't think you get it. I fucked up so bad. I'm lucky to even still be in the same house as her. She left me and I'm realizing just how much I need her, how far I'll go for her to love me. Have you ever felt like that? If she didn't let me plead my case to her and continue to do so now, my heart would burst in the worst way possible. She betters me and I want her for the rest of my life. Shouldn't have taken this to realize it, but I'm trying to fix it."

"So she wants you to let go of me?"

"Wouldn't you? I have to 'cause she needs me to. It's what I should've done a long time ago. Noir I do love you and I appreciate all the time we've spent together, but I won't give Beyoncé up for anybody. She loves me the way no one else ever has. I've never met someone so patient and loving and perfect."

"I never asked you to give her up."

"But you threatened to tell her they we were in a full blown relationship so that she would leave me. It's just too much Noir, and there's not enough room for the both of you."

"And what about the girls?"

"I'm sure they'd appreciate having their parents together."

"I don't get to say goodbye?"

"You're not their mother. If I got caught allowing you to say goodbye to her girls, Beyoncé would lose it and leave me for real. That's not going to happen."

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